Jill and Derick Dillard just made a heartbreaking announcement. Jill was pregnant, but the baby passed away in utero at four months and was stillborn. Their child was a girl whom they named Isla Marie Dillard. She was due in August, just one month after brother Freddy's second birthday. Photos of the parents holding their swaddled daughter are available on their website.
I can understand the heartbreak but I can't understand why they felt the need to share pictures of what should have been an extremely private moment for the family. Not everything in life has to be shared publicly. Jill who has been so upset about "boundaries" doesn't look like she understands them.
ReplyDeleteThis is their story. If you don’t want to hear about it …just move on.
DeleteClearly you are unaware of what boundaries are. Your boundaries do not control someone else’s actions. If they want to share pictures of their daughter they absolutely should, just as any other parents may choose to.
DeleteYou choose ‘now’ as the time to be critical? Says more about you than her. The way she lives her life and deals with her life is entirely up to her. She doesn’t require your criticism.
DeleteThose are the only pictures of their daughter they will ever get to share.
DeleteI agree with you. I don't understand how the privacy thing works with the Duggars. They share something like this which I consider quite private without batting an eye, but when something they don't want known comes to light, they say their privacy has been invaded.
DeleteTotally agree, 12:07. There are few times more private than the loss of a baby. There is no need to share photos with the entire world. It only invites opinions. Will they ever learn what needs to be kept private?
Delete6:00 The time to point out an error is when it's happening. If someone doesn't know that, says something about them too.
DeleteThey're all for fetal rights. What about giving the right to privacy to those who can't ask for it themselves?
DeleteJill isn't one of the ones that went off social media like Josiah. Everyone has their own set boundaries. You clearly haven't been keeping up.
DeleteThis is indeed sad and they will need time to grieve. As far as taking their grief public, it is their chose even tho many of us grieve privately. Looking back at their behavior on podcasts this year, and their unwillingness to forgive, it is hard to say if they are Christians. But if they are Christians they will grieve and then ask the Lord for guidance…His will is sovereign. It seemed that one of the shows they expressed a desire to adopt Internationally..maybe this will come to pass. Speaking from experience..there were many sorrows before the Lord directed us to adopt internationally. Looking back on it I realize now it was always God’s plan.
Delete10:58 are you serious? You obviously are in love with the parents. Jill has tried making amends, but when repeated behaviors bring up past trauma, something you obviously don't understand, but Lord our God does, it is hard to get pass. But guess what? We don't know the full story. And there is nothing in the Bible that says you have to still hang out with the person you forgive.
DeleteY'all! It's their choice, their way to grieve. Not yours. Just scroll on by vs criticizing.
DeleteThe hospital I work at takes pics for the family when there's a stillbirth. Sometimes the family wants to see the pics, other times they don't. It's not my decision. It's theirs.
10:58 encouraging post.. it looks like your sorrow turned to joy by adopting..it take special people to adopt internationally. 7:23 has apparently not listened to all the podcasts you are referring to and the disrespect talk shown to the parents on them, but I did listen and I get you.
Delete@6:26 Why do you think people might talk about you disrespectfully? Possibly because you did something disrespectful? Otherwise, people would be singing your praises. Right?
Delete5:28 Those pictures are no doubt for the family, which is understandable. Not for the Internet.
Delete4:28 are you serious? Most of us draw the line when it comes to disrespecting our parents. I would never go public the way Jill has, regardless of how my parents treated me…especially when they are unable to defend themselves in the same public arena.
Delete@8:23 Not all parents are perfect angels. Far from it in many cases. You have every right to speak up if something bad happens to you. Victims should not be muted.
Delete8:23 the parents are fully able to defend themselves. They just said "No comment" and they want to deal with things privately. When did they ever do that? They was always eager to jump in on a interview. But now they are in bad spotlight.
DeleteWhy could you not adopt an American child? Less abortions would happen if a lady knew her baby would go to a good family
Delete8:23 there is a difference. The parents was disrespectful and hurt their children. They needed to be called out. There is nothing wrong with that. Sweeping it under the rug will only allow them to keep doing it to the other kids and live in denial about Josh.
Delete9:45.. the tv segment when Jill and Derrick were missionaries is when they expressed their desire to adopt from an orphanage. Someone definitely has to have the love of children to pursue International adoption.
Delete@10:58 Why are you even questioning if they are Christians? Do you think it's your decision if they are or not? Remember, even Jesus got angry at people who were not doing the right things. He would have been (is?) mad at parents who hid their sins so they could continue to profit, and who allowed their children to be harmed even after being aware of the danger. Yet you expect Jill to be OK with this? You don't like her behavior, after all she went through?
Delete9:45 How could women elect to have fewer abortions when they're already limited in 21 states and women have no choice? Where are the "good" families lined up waiting to adopt from those states? Meanwhile, the foster system, already struggling, is feeling the added strain. The law was changed before the system was ready to handle it, and babies with no forever home or parents who want them end up paying the price for something that was supposed to keep them safe. I see real societal problems ahead, both now and as those babies grow up.
DeleteI am very sorry for them. The pictures with the deceased baby and sharing them are very strange to me. I guess they do a lot of stuff that’s strange to me when it comes to healing. But this time the story is only their’s so while I think it’s strange, I think they can do what they feel is right.
ReplyDeleteThey are not fully showing it. And what's the difference between this and a funeral? Did you look at your family members in a coffin?
DeleteNo, I wouldn’t take photos with the loved one in the casket at a funeral. I think the photo part and sharing it is a difference maker and beyond my understanding. But losing babies is terribly painful and if this helps, I support it.
DeleteI'm not the OP, but I don't know anyone that's taken a picture of their loved one lying in a coffin. So, I don't understand your point??
DeleteI saw a picture of my grandma's still born brother in a coffin. I saw it when I was a.kid looking at her picture books. It made me cry. I couldnt look at it again after that but that is what they did back then
DeleteIt is strange..but each to their own. I think it can damage some people..my adult daughter has said how upset it made her to see her grandmother in the casket. I have relieved her fears and made it clear she doesn’t need to have a open coffin when we die.
DeleteBut you shouldn't have a open coffin at all for all to see.
Delete3:10, you "shouldn't"? Says who? Who is the authority on coffin open or closed? I'm guessing you aren't a professional expert on the matter.
DeletePrayers to them during the very heartbreaking time.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Prayers for all of you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to the Dillard family.
ReplyDeleteJILL I AM HEARTBROKEN 💔 FOR U!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI WISH I KNEW U WERE PREGNANT, I DIDN'T SAY THE FOOT THING!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJustine just pray for the Dillard Family
DeleteWhat does it mean Justine you didn't say the foot thing?
Delete8:22-apparently Justine was blocked by the Duggar kids on Instagram.. she mentioned it in another article. Whether or not the foot thing has to do with it, who knows?
DeleteNO THE 'FOOT THING', IS THIS THING I SAY, LIKE I SAID TO EVERYONE OF THE KIDS SAY THEY ARE PREGNANT I SAY, "PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF, PUT YOUR FEET UP, AND I LOVE U... I
Delete952 I THINK THE REASON THE DUGGARS BLOCKED ME, SOME HAVE UNBLOCKED ME, BECAUSE LIKE ANOTHER COMMENTER SAID 'I MIGHT, HAVE MADE THEM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE', SO I TOLD THEM, I FELT LIKE A SISTER, AND LOVED THEM LIKE A SISTER, AND IT HELPED!!!!
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby girl!!!😭😭❤️🙏
ReplyDeletePeople grieve in different ways. Let them grieve more public than usual.
ReplyDeleteJoy and Austin shared a photo of the holding their stillborn daughter. It is better to support Jill and Derrick rather than criticize. They need your prayers
ReplyDeleteIsla Marie is such a beautiful name. Prayers for them as they grieve the loss of their little girl. 😥🙏
ReplyDeleteI understand the miscarriage. I’m sorry to hear about it. I hope she gets pregnant again with no miscarriage.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you replying multiple times? It's a stillborn in our country.
Delete@6:18 Please explain how and why you are tracking who posts what. Have you hacked the site?
DeleteThat is a miscarrriage; a stillbirth is not until at least 20 weeks gestation. Still sad that it happened but not the same thing. Stillbirth sounds more dramatic.
ReplyDeleteShe could've been 20 weeks. Baby was due in August, so she was about halfway. Stillborn is the correct term
DeleteHow do you know it happened before 20 weeks? I don’t believe that they posted the exact amount of weeks. But according to the month they were due she could have been closer to 5 months along, who knows…. But having been through 3 losses at 19 1/2 weeks, I very well know the pain of a loss that far along, as well as the excruciating emotional trauma of being hauled back and forth several times between the labour and delivery ward or the normal sick ward (in a 4 bed room ta boot! while I was in labour and knowing we were going to be losing the baby) due to the fact that I was literally ONLY 3 days away from the baby being considered a stillborn versus a miscarriage!!!!!! It was the most dreadful experience of my life EVER! And it happened 3 times over!!! 😪
DeleteNo, it is considered a stillbirth. And the Duggars have been careful to say when it's a miscarriage or stillbirth.
DeleteDoes it really matter what we call it? A loss is a loss! It's like debating whether an adult "died" or "passed away." Goodness gracious!
DeleteI don't see that it really matters what she calls it. They lost a much wanted baby.
DeleteBoundaries are whatever you make them, and it's OK for everyone's to be different. They can change and evolve and that's OK too. I think for someone who lives a public life, not sharing can feel inauthentic or make the thing not being shared feel shameful. I give them credit for being open about their experience and pain so others who have gone through the same thing don't feel so alone.
ReplyDeleteLiving a public life? What is that? I don't think anyone feels "alone" if they don't share details and photos. Everyone knows about miscarriage, death, etc. It happens every day. What is the point then of sharing your intimate photos of it?
Delete4:55 she didn't show the baby fully. And people still hide it.
DeleteBy "public life", I meant someone like the Duggars or Bates who choose to share more of their lives online than most people. We watched her wedding for goodness sakes...so I'd say that's more of a private life than most, and she's chosen to continue to share. I think when you share any level of details of your life, omitting ones that are extra important to you but may be uncomfortable probably feels odd in some way. Like I shared with you about the garden I just planted or the outing we did, but now I'm going to hide something that's causing me so much grief and will impact the rest of my life? I guess it's up to them how they feel it's appropriate to do that, but I can see where they would (sadly) feel a sort of "duty" to be open about something like that at this point. If nothing else it should help ward off questions if they happen to be quieter on social media than usual for a while, which is an additional protection of their mental health in the days to come to not field those questions constantly. I also appreciate the point someone else made about these being their only baby photos ever of this baby and wanting to take the opportunity to share them like any proud parent normally would. And yes, people know about miscarriage and death, but so many don't talk about it, are expected to stop grieving quickly because it wasn't a "real" child yet, and feel some shame for not being able to keep the pregnancy. It's not as open a topic for most people as you seem to think it is.
DeleteThat's a miscarriage (at four months), not a stillbirth.
ReplyDeleteIts sad how many of you all don't know that 4 months is considered a stillbirth.
DeleteDoesn't a stillbirth refer to a fetus that's at term or near term, in other words, viable? A four-month fetus is NOT viable, hence the term miscarriage.
DeleteI’m in medicine. It’s a still birth. She literally birthed a child.
DeleteA stillbirth is 20 weeks or more. 4 months is not 20 weeks.
DeleteWho cares?? She still lost a baby. You wouldn't correct someone in your personal life on this, would you?
DeleteDid they know it would be still?
Delete"Stillbirths involve fetal death after week 20, while miscarriage involves the fetus passing away before week 20" from the Cleveland Clinic
DeleteAww that is sad. As much as I disagreed with her and Derick concerning how they treated the family, I sympathize with them. I'm sure Michelle and Jim will be there for them
ReplyDeleteThis is not a real apology if you are seriously putting the blame on them.
DeleteWow. Yet Jill was the one that wasn't protected. But okay...
DeleteI dont think OP was apologizing. If you read the comment, they were sympathetic. I too hope the family is there for her and reconciliation can happen
DeleteGet over it 7:19... the others dealt with it and moved on. Something you need to do too
DeleteAgreed OP :)
Delete9:31 you clearly never been through trauma. I am so happy for you.
DeleteNeither have you, 9:04
DeleteVery sad news, indeed but it seems that Jill isn't built to have many children after the issues she had with Israel, Sam, an early miscarriage and then Freddie. She shouldn't roll the dice any more and be happy with and grateful for the 3 beautiful boys she already has. They need a mother to be alive and there for them. Sometimes you just have to know when to quit. I did after my 2 wonderful sons and did not go on to have another after issues developed with my younger son. Not tragic in the least; just grateful for what I already had.
ReplyDeleteIt's wonderful that you, Jill's physician, had a chance to weigh in publicly on this site about whether or not Jill should conceive again. I'm sure they called you immediately to ask your opinion.
DeleteSo now nobody can say anything unless they're employed by the family? Then what's the point of having a comment section? We're supposed to be sharing opinions.
DeleteThe family doesn't believe in birth control, but seeing as Jill is doing life differently, maybe she doesn't use it? I don't know. It's a shame
DeleteThis is an opinion and comment page. I gave my opinion on this sad event. I think your comment was rude and unnecessary. If posters can't post their opinions here, shut this site down.
Delete8:12 am Very rude comment and totally uncalled for.
DeleteDo you give medical advice to people who lost a loved one in your personal life?
DeleteYou don't know her medical chart. Yes, she had problems in the past. But that doesn't always mean she'll have problems with the next one. It's her choice at the end of the day.
DeleteI can see why you would make a suggestion about stopping but it is their decision.
DeleteI'm sorry for your loss. A prayer was said.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for them. They did not deserve this nor the few unnecessary comments. Saying sorry doesn't make your comments any less heartless. Its absolutely triggering for those of us who lost babies. I am sure these are the same people who have something to say whenever they post about Jill. This is so uncalled for and disgusting. As for boundaries, she never showed the baby's face. Jill still posts on on social media. Her siblings have all set different boundaries now. We all know someone who posts a lot. You would never say anything like this to someone in your personal life. Before you judge, a vast majority of people attend funerals with the casket wide open. I will never understand how someone can find closure in that.
ReplyDeleteI agree
DeleteI hope they keep trying and trying until they get a little girl.
ReplyDeleteWait, I thought God was in control of the womb. Isn't it rather selfish or possibly against God's plan to "try until they get a little girl"? When boys are born, do you say oh darn, we didn't get what we really wanted, we'll have to try some more?
DeleteGive them a chance to grieve.! What's the rush?
DeleteI dont think they care about the gender, but a healthy baby
DeleteSorry for your loss. Jill,Derrick and family you will be in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteJoan,Marilyn and Marion
1:50 I agree. Even if 6 boys in a row!
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss😞💔
ReplyDeleteHere’s hoping that Johanna is enjoying her 19th birthday!
ReplyDeleteWhy would she be enjoying an October birthday in April?
DeleteIt’s not her birthday! Her birthday is October 11th.
DeleteThis is Here's Hoping, and this comment was not posted by me.
Delete5:37 I’m sorry I meant happy birthday to Jennifer who turned 18 in April.
DeleteDerrick and Jill, I'm really sorry for the loss of your daughter. Prayers to all. I hope everything is going well. My dad and I are really praying for the family to mend their hearts. We really miss the Duggars and the Bates family. We are praying for for everyone and hope someone will come out with a reality show. Natasha b
ReplyDeleteJill and Derrick, I am sorry for your loss and such a heart breaking tragedy. I will pray for strength and resilience. Eileen
ReplyDeleteI am appalled at the comments right now. The insensitivity is so beyond understanding. But I know one thing for sure, that any future hate comments about Jill is not real. There is no way this is a grown adult doing and saying these things.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely this newer generation. They don't know their limits. That will catch up with them one day.
DeleteYou know Jill personally?
DeleteThey refuse to believe the parents did anything wrong.
Delete5:19- noooo..it's about how Jill trashed the family and separated herself from them in a very public display of immaturity
Delete12:10. Well said..not sure why some people can’t understand that.
Delete12:10 Jill has been with her family. Guess you haven't seen. Guess they don't think she was immature or they wouldn't have anything to do with her.
Delete12:10. The Duggars are the most forgiving parents around, so it doesn’t surprise me that they have forgiven Jill and hope for a relationship. The only thing I would think would be different….they will be cautious with sharing any personal information with Jill, or especially Derrick, since they now know that the Dillards are unable to keep private information private.
DeleteI pray for those making rude unnecessary comments. May you have many rude unnecessary comments under your obituary notice one day. I am sure they'll be plenty to tell.
ReplyDelete@3:13 If this is an example, will your obituary say how thoughtful you were of others?
DeleteLol
DeleteLol that's what happened with my grandma. Nobody had nothing nice to say about her. Sad, but true. She did it too herself.
DeleteThat's rude.too
DeleteDefinitely sad to lose a baby at any stage. I think the younger generation just has a need to keep a memory of the event ..by picture or whatever…which is their preference.. It used to be people would have a miscarriage and keep it to themselves, not sure if that was the best either…sad either way.
ReplyDeleteIts not the 1950s anymore. It's not taboo to talk about miscarriages or stillbirths. People are just being nasty because it's Jill.
DeleteShare the news. Share the emotions you're feeling. People can empathize. But keep the pictures that could be disturbing to yourselves. You don't need to prove to the public that you're grieving and that you've held a lifeless baby by showing pictures. That may be OK among Jill's inner circle, but I don't think she realizes what effect that has on others outside her family. Imagine if you were struggling to maintain a pregnancy and came across those pictures. Imagine how actually seeing the aftermath of someone else's miscarriage or stillbirth would heighten your fears!
DeleteThose pictures ARE triggering.
DeleteAgree, 8:35
DeleteWhat a mess in the comments. This is not about you. Stop trying to draw attention to yourself by starting arguments. If you don't like Jill, fine. I think you stated your opinion enough. This right here is completely out of line and almost disturbing. I think you need to take a break.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more!
DeleteIf you think the comments here are bad, you should read what Cousin Amy told People magazine about Josh (and Anna). Now that was harsh.
Delete6:58 yeah that was pretty harsh of her hoping he would be tormented as much as possible in prison. That was pretty insensitive towards Anna and the children..I’m sure they are praying that Josh will be safe.
DeleteCousin Amy obviously loved the fame, or she wouldn't have kept going over there..
DeleteI lost respect for the cousin after she accused her husband of abuse, yet still stayed with him.. then she verbally attacks the very people who helped her and her single mother...why did her mother allow Amy over there if there was such an issue??
DeleteMy condolences. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you guys are going through.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up Jill was on camera for so long that I don't think she was ever taught enough about what was share-worthy and what was private. Although they did try to keep anything that would have tarnished their reputations private. But anything else to garner public following was fair game.
ReplyDeleteNo, people would still have something to say if they ever figured it out. People was going to know anyway, due to them having a funeral.
DeleteJill is no different than the majority of the population who are compelled to share nearly everything via their devices in one form or another.
DeleteThe only ones with tarnished reputations are Jim Bob, Michelle and Josh.
DeleteSome people's behavior on this site is so childish. I am sorry you are going through this Jill. It amazes me how the victims are attacked and how they protect the parents. It makes me wonder if these people are closely allied with them in their personal life seeing that Bill Gothard got involved in online disputes too when he didn't like what people had to say about him.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I also believe majority of this small group is just looking to start arguments. You don't ever see them commenting on their actual social media.
DeleteJill acted childish
DeleteYou're reading too much into this 6:32. Some people don't do social media at all or comment there.
DeleteThe first time I observed a family celebrating the life of a baby who died in uteri was when the Duggars were on TV and Michelle lost Jubilee..the service they had for her was touching it brought me to tears. I noticed some pictures on line this week showing a little service Jill had for her Isa..one picture of Jill holding Isla on her bed, and weeping was such a sincere reflection of her pain she is feeling. I’m not sure why, but many of us were raised in loving Christian homes where we were raised to be stoic in light of trials..such as losing loved ones and miscarriages. I remembered weeping before, during and after the death of my mother. It was painful to have one of my siblings make fun of my emotional outwardly reflection of my pain in losing my mother. It was encouraging to see so many of Jill’s family, including her parents at Isla celebration of life in the womb, overall I think this is healthier for your mental health, than keeping all that pain private. Regardless how you feel about Jill revealing Duggar private information, think there should always be love in our hearts to shown compassion when there is sorrow.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to Jana and Nathan!! Mr & Mrs. Rice April 27th, 2024!🎉
ReplyDeleteIf this were true, it would be all over the internet. If this were true, there would be a separate post about it. Until then, how are we supposed to believe that?
DeleteDid Jana get married over the weekend??
ReplyDeleteWho knows. The family that wanted you to watch their show, buy their books, get their autographs, and come to their speaking engagements obviously doesn't want you to know now.
DeleteCongratulations Jana and Nathan!!!🎉💍
ReplyDeleteYay! Finally
DeleteShe shared even more photos than what's on that link above. Those should really have been just for family. It feels kinda paparazzi-ish to see all of them.
ReplyDeleteSo many photos of the fetus and grieving parents online. I don’t understand why. Shall we move on?
ReplyDelete7:25..I would think you don’t understand because you are referring to Isla as a fetus, while the loved ones are referring to her as their baby they will meet in heaven.
DeleteShe was a baby...NOT a fetus!
Delete1:29. Not sure what you are referring to..I didn’t see any Bill Gothard statements..on this announcement of stillbirth segment. Since this is a Duggars support group blog, it makes since that the followers would be supporters.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened on April 27th???
ReplyDeleteSupposedly Jana got married a week ago.
Delete12:03 Was it awkward when Michelle gave Jana “the talk?”
DeleteOne shouldn’t have to wait til 30 to learn these things. But such a discussion is absolutely forbidden until the day of the marriage.
@2:10 Girls talk among themselves, married or unmarried. Nobody relies on their mother any more to talk to them about such things. There are also tons of books and websites.
DeletePeople need to quit posting they think Jaana got married unless, you are POSITIVE Geez who really cares anyway. Its either marriage or babies anyway.
ReplyDeleteHer Mother's Day post showed what looked like a Photoshopped ring finger, so speculation began anew.
DeleteDear Gunner: I hope that you are having a fantastic 1st Birthday!!!!!! (Posted by Here's Hoping.)
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping that Lauren is enjoying her 25th Birthday!!!!!!!! (Posted by Here's Hoping.)
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping that Ben is enjoying his 29th Birthday!!!!!!!! (Posted by Here's Hoping.)
ReplyDeleteNOW you go back and add the comments about Jana getting married, with the guy's name? What sort of games does this blog play? I'm tired of it. Tell us the truth the first time, like you're supposed to.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is Jana got married. No bridesmaids. No children. She’s the smart one of the bunch.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know this, 3:44? Were you there? Or did you hear rumors?
Delete@3:44 There is no marriage license on record in Arkansas for Jana in the last 5 years. She could not have gotten married in that state without a license. So either she didn't get married, or she went out of state to do it. All the other Duggar licenses are there.
Delete