Henry Seewald, Ivy Seewald, Spurgeon Seewald
"I think being a parent now for four years, I'm realizing now much I don't know about this."
-Jessa Seewald
Jessa and Ben Seewald have three children ages four and under, and before Spurgeon's fourth birthday in November, they had three ages three and under. TLC just posted a video in which the Seewalds share some thoughts on parenting, as well as a tip they learned from Michelle Duggar (link below).
Jessa and Ben Share a Parenting Tip
Photo courtesy theseewaldfamily.com
Time 5:00PM Mon 3/23/20
ReplyDeleteCool
I think Jess a and Ben are really great parents. I think they could one day have their own show because they are so much like the Duggar s of yesteryear. Neither one of them are materialistic, they stay true to the values and lifestyle they were raised with which shows such strong convictions and strength. I also love how they honor their parents. I watched some of the videos Jessa has made and she seems like such a loving and humble person. This couple is such good mentors and examples to others. God Bless them 🙏
ReplyDeleteLove the quote from Jessa! I think all parents can relate.
ReplyDeleteHaving 3 "3 and under" is nothing compared to having 3 "12 and above"
ReplyDelete😄 Been both places. The first is more physically exhausting, the second is more mentally and emotionally exhausting.
DeleteWhat are you even saying?? Three under three means you have three little children who are fully dependent upon you; someone who is 12 or older is able to do a lot of their own work, such as cleaning up after themselves, making breakfast or lunch, etc. Older kids are considerably easier than younger kids, and if you mean their “attitudes”, you probably need to take a step back and remember how hard it is to be a new teen dealing with hormones and how to cope through them. If they’re acting out then you should probably also look back on their time as small children when it was “nothing” to take care of them and see that you probably didn’t do a great job in the raising portion of development. If a child is allowed to get their way in everything when they’re young, they’re not going to expect any differently when they’re teenagers.
DeleteLol! I’ve never heard that before. So funny! ....and I’d imagine pretty true 🤣
DeleteBoth are hard in their own ways.
Delete@5:13- I think that both you and the OP are forgetting that no two children are alike, even within the same family. One of my older brothers was a very good baby/toddler, but as he grew, it was apparent that he had some underlying mental health issues. His difficulties brought himself and the entire family much heartache that has continued on to his present age of 70. It didn't have anything to do with how he was parented, either. Don't desparage someone else's observations based on their own experiences.
DeleteAnon 5:13. Perhaps you don’t have teen children? Yes children over 12 are “easier” in the sense they can get their own snacks and drinks and aren’t so dependent. But they ARE more challenging from an emotional sense. Hormone surges, coping with feelings, emotions, making sense of who they are and what to believe in, it’s a complicated time both for teens and parents. It doesn’t matter if you were the most amazing parent when they were toddlers, teens can still be unpredictable and can be led astray. Just because a child comes from a “good family” doesn’t mean they will be a perfect teenager and always behave in accordance to house rules and obey their parents. Like toddlers, teens will test boundaries and limits. They will learn about life and will face consequences of their actions be it positive or negative. I do agree that As a parent you should support and love your child, teaching them right from wrong, instill strong morals and values, from a young age so when they are a teen they have a good sense of direction. But as mentioned, “good parents” don’t always have “good kids” and vice versa. Just bc someone thinks teens are harder to raise than toddlers does NOT mean they thought toddler hood was easy. Parenting is hard no matter what the age of the child is.
DeleteEven the meekest, most cheerful and cooperative children can turn in to the most stubborn and uncooperative teens, no matter how hard you tried or how well you did before that. Every day can be like hitting the reset button with adolescents. You never know who's going to greet you in the morning, Jekyll or Hyde. One incident of some sort during the day and things can change in an instant from sunny to stormy. Not only are teens finding out for themselves who they are and what they're capable of (important step!), they're also trying to please their peers (not you) and fit in. A turbulent time. Parents only have so much control and restraint, and if you want to eventually have a fully functioning independent adult, you have to learn how to let go of that control by degrees too. It's not a linear equation of "Good 6 year old = Good 16 year old." If it were, there wouldn't be so many books on the subject, and so many frustrated parents of teens! I've been in the Teen Trenches myself and somehow we all came out OK, but it wasn't easy. Think "toddlers with car keys."
Delete5:13.That is quite a leap from a mild statement on teens to 'you didn't do a good job'. I would rethink that.
DeleteAbsolutely, 2:41! With the oldest of our four children applying for colleges, preparing to leave home at least nine months of the year, parenting has taken on a different kind of emotional exhaustion.
DeleteDiscipling a soon-to-be-adult in today’s culture is not for the faint of heart, coupled with the reality of how our lives will change in 6 months-my heart already aches.
5:13, your presumptive accusatory attitude needs a heart check. I wholeheartedly agree with the original poster.
Yes, the stage Jessa and Ben are in is physically exhausting. Fortunately for them, they are very young with the added benefit of a reality show income and opportunities to ease the financial burden. Others in their age bracket could potentially have added financial stress given their lack of education living off of one income.
When children are preparing to launch, guiding them through the choices of their future in regards to their walk with the Lord, higher education, and possible spousal relationships is a very different type of pressure than the baby/preschool stage. The choices they are making at 18 have the potential to alter the course of their adult lives, some with permanent consequences of their decisions. I tell my children that college, career, and residency choices can be altered, but their faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and who they marry will impact the rest of their lives and eternity.
Long story short, I love the independent ability stage and enjoy seeing my children blossom. While we’ve been intentional with raising our children in a Christian home, we realize that as adults, children need to respond to the Holy Spirit independently and then make decisions seeking God’s will for their lives.
My advice to young parents-spiritually, use every opportunity to teach the Gospel; financially, live within your means, set up a 529 to save for your children’s education; and, enjoy every stage. Children are a blessing!
This is commentor 5:13. While yes, my post obviously could have been kinder, I feel like I was more triggered by OP’s statement “3 under 3 is “nothing” compared to 3 over 12”. Once again, 3 under three typically means you have two toddlers and a baby or a toddler, a baby, and a newborn, which is EXTREME difficult, and much more time consuming than having teens. You have no break whatsoever with that many young children, so to imply that that’s easy I think really downplays the hardships that those parents go through. To include being extremely sleep deprived, which I think everyone can agree makes functioning very difficult, much more so than when you have teens who sleep through the night and don’t need you first thing in the morning. A lot of problems parents have wth teens comes from a lack of bounties being set at a reasonable stage, and also from a lack of understanding on the part of parents. I’ve worked with kids from all different ages and stages in life, and can confidently say that teens while they pose their own unique challenges, are not harder than little children/babies.
DeleteOne thing I have learned raising 5 teenagers; don't never say my child would never do that!
DeleteParenting older children and teens isn’t easier, just different.
Delete9:13, I was an “expert”, too, until I became a parent. Until the full responsibility falls on you, it’s impossible to grasp the differences of ages, stages, and multiple needs and personalities that make up a family.
DeleteWorking with kids is not the equivalent of parenting, and you’re still not getting it after several posters have pointed out that parents CAN do what’s best for their kids by setting boundaries, raising them in the fear and admonition of the Lord and they still choose to go their own way! Most responders to this thread seem to understand what the OP was saying, and I suspect those with wisdom also speak from experience.
9:13- I'm going to make a wild guess here that you do not have any kids of your own. Speaking from experience, you don't know what you're talking about. I was a teacher for many years before I had kids of my own. I can assure you, my perspectives changed dramatically once I had them. Just about everything I thought I knew so much about children went right out the window when I was the one responsible for them 24/7. It's so easy to psycho-analyze other people when you've never walked even a few feet in their shoes.
Delete2:50 AM -- Have to agree with you on that one!
DeleteIs the new season? A few random videos.
ReplyDeleteThat was a great video!!!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter's kindergarten teacher used to say, "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit". The "get" parts sound like "git" so that it rhymes.
ReplyDeleteMom of 3
That particular rhyming must be a Southern thing. I'm in NJ and "get" and "fit" don't rhyme at all here. Therefore, most teachers and parents that I know say, "You get what you get and you don't get upset."
DeleteIt's not just a southern thing. I live in a far-north state and we say that here, too.
DeleteIn my neck of the woods, we say,
Delete"You get what you get and you don't throw a fit". I've used this with my own children and with my students. I've found that it works with all ages and quickly quiets their complaining.
Yes, it's definitely southern. :)
DeleteParenting is very rewarding,but can be challenging at times,but God gives us what we need especially when we are committed to following His commands. Ben and Jessa are right on track and are blessed to have God first in their marriage and relationship and to have the godly wisdom of Michelle is just an added bonus. Ben and Jessa you are both an encouragement for young married couples and a blessing.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR THIS, BUT THE NEW POST GETS ALL THE EYES ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, I'D HATE FOR ANYONE OF U TO GET SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL, VERY BAD, CAUSE I LOVE EVERY DUGGAR VERY MUCH, THE NEW FAMILY MEMBERS TOO, AND SO PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE OF U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHaving 3 "3 and under" is nothing compared to having 3 "12 and above"
ReplyDelete*2:50 a.m.*03/24*
Three? Over twelve? Ha! That's a walk in the park to Jim Bob and Michelle. They had many kids over 12, + more and still do! All while having three under three, + more. And, having more than three teens, toddlers, babies (and twins) all at the same time. For decades! They would chuckle at your remark perhaps since they are warriors. Children, teens and babies are such a blessing from God. So much respect for the Duggars, as well as admiration, they are happy and enjoy their family and the memories even with all those teens still in their house, God is good, He gave us them for encouragement and so much more.
Jessa is blessed to have such wise parents to encourage and guide!
ReplyDeleteI think parenting tips are great; however, having six kids of my own, I have noticed not everything is “across the board”. What works with one kid may not work with the next (even in the same household). You just gotta “do you” and do what works for your family. Tips are great but they aren’t the end all. My best advice is to pray and ask God to help me be the parent each of my children needs (not wants but needs). He is the BEST expert on my children and knowing exactly how to get through to each one of them, the right way. And part of the parenting process is trying, failing then learning from the failures. Kids don’t need perfection, they just need unconditional love. Love covers over a multitude of sins, misgivings, and flaws.
ReplyDeleteYep, parenting is not a cookie cutter approach!
DeleteI like this idea so much.
ReplyDelete1. It is in the first person ("If I") rather than the second person ("If you") because Michelle knows that the things she says to her children will become the things they say to themselves in their heads as older children and adults.
2. It also connects cause and effect. If I throw a fit, I won't get what I want. It implies the reason for not throwing a fit is because it makes what I want less likely, not more likely. And it implies there are still ways to get what I want; namely, not throwing a fit but finding better ways to communicate. It empowers children to think of other ways to get wha they want.
It's so much better than "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit," which teaches children not to throw a fit but it's in "you" language and doesn't give them any alternatives or reasons why not to throw a fit. So much better. Wise.