Joy-Anna Duggar and Carlin Bates at Tori and Bobby's wedding
On December 16th, the entire Duggar clan, minus Jinger and Jeremy Vuolo, was in Knoxville, Tennessee, for Tori Bates' wedding. Grandma Duggar and Jim Bob's sister, Deanna Duggar, even attended. The Duggars and Bates have been friends for more than 20 years, and they enjoy traveling to the other's state for visits and milestone events.
Click here to view professional photos from Tori's wedding and here to view our exclusive photos on our Bates blog.
Photo courtesy Carlin Bates/thebatesfamily.com
I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen a Bates/Duggar courtship yet. They’ve been friends a long time, longer than some of their kids spouses before their kids met.🤔🤷🏻♀️
ReplyDeleteThe Bateses always look so polished and refined next to the Duggars.
DeleteI agree so true. It would be lovely to see.
DeleteI think a courtship between the youngest of the families would happen. I'm not sure why but I believe it will happen.
DeleteYes!! I'm hoping for one!
DeleteWe have family friends like that and our children (now young adults) consider them cousins(family) so dating is not considered. Maybe that is what is happening here.
Delete3:03, Carlin is part of her sister’s wedding party in this picture, Joy Anna is not, so obviously Carlin would be more dressed up.
DeleteTotally agree, too! The Duggar girls always look very casual at weddings.
DeleteIt is because they see each other as family!!!!!!!
DeleteI don't care about her outfit. She looks beautiful!
DeleteI still can't believe that is how Joy dressed to attend a wedding.
ReplyDeleteIt does seem a bit causal for a wedding and the pose she struck unnecessary.
DeleteI thought the same thing. She looks too casual for a wedding....and yes the Bates do look more polished. And they always wear flip-flops or sandals to weddings what is that all about?
DeleteIf you look at the footage of Bates and Duggar weddings, people are usually dressed pretty casual and lots of men go in jeans. The only ones who are truly dressed are the wedding party and the families (like Carlin in this pic). I personally don’t like that (most weddings I’ve gone too have been black tie affairs) but it seems to be how their community rolls
DeleteYes I thought Joy could've dressed up little more than what she did also. I thought weddings were dressy occasions. Or it is at least in my circles.
Deleteshe is probably feeling lucky she could find something that fit and that was comfortable omg you guys. if there is nothing to critisize you will find SOMETHING. This is the most judgemental group on the planet! It is Tori and Bobby's wedding, if they didn't mind, you shouldn't.
DeleteI wonder why there's never been a Bates-Duggar romance. I think both sets of parents would welcome one.
ReplyDeleteWhat a strange pose for Joy for a wedding picture...
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the bump.
DeleteShe was pregnant at the moment... she wa adjust holding her belly
DeleteThe whole "hand under the belly" thing is just so strange. I have been pregnant several times. Never put my hand so low u set my belly for a picture. Makes no sense.
DeleteCarlin is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteWell, that’s just an inappropriate pose, but both girls are very pretty.
ReplyDeleteYou mean Joy's "tummy clutch"? I agree, but that's what the Duggar girls do when pregnant.
DeleteHow Ian that an inappropriate pose? She’s pregnant, most pregnant women stand with their hand under their stomach in pictures.
DeleteWhy is THAT? Nothing wrong with it.
DeleteWhy is it inappropriate?
DeleteMy family/friends group all had our kids about 15-20 years ago, and none of us posed with our hands on our bellies. This is a new pose from the selfie/Instagram generation.
DeleteI saw Grandma Duggar & Deanna & Kendra behind them.
ReplyDeleteI feel this is because the Duggars/Bates, see them self, like family, so they don't fancy each other, because they feel like they are 1 BIG family!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOr they could just be friends who have no interest in each other in a romantic way.
DeleteThat is not a good picture.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s wrong with it? It’s two friends standing next to each other.
DeleteI did see Grandma Duggar & Deanna at the wedding. They were towards the front on the right. Grandma D had a beautiful bright dress on so she was easy to spot!
ReplyDeleteIt was a beautiful wedding. God bless them both.
ReplyDeleteNow thats a wedding, UP channel really knows how to cover a wedding and it was nice to see the maturity of the couple walking down the ilse after the wedding, class act all the way😃
ReplyDeleteI never understood why the Duggars run down the aisle after wedding. I know that is a Jewish tradition but why do the Duggars do it?
DeleteWhy is Joy standing like that? Showing off baby bump?
DeleteBecause it's too bulky to carry around a "Look How Pregnant I Am!" sign all the time?
DeleteJosie needs her own picture in header. 🙄🙄🙄🙄why put grandma Duggar in it now?
ReplyDeleteGrandma Duggar has always been in the header. She's an important member of the family and a constant on the show. Mary's picture used to be next to Jim Bob and Michelle. I agree though that separate pictures would be nice.
DeleteThe family has outgrown individual pictures;saving space in the header? 👍😄❤
DeleteWhy does it matter? If I was Ellie I would take away the header until everyone stopped complaining about it, it’s so rude.
Delete6:03, I agree completely. I can't believe the focus on the header! Soon there won't be room for individual pictures without having to use a magnifying glass to see them. Just have a big group shot and be done with it.
DeleteI love the header, I have loved all of them, it's just a header! I love Grandma and Josie together, it's so sweet. DO NOT take Grandma Duggar off the header. If it wasn't for her their wouldn't of been a Jim Bob, 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On...Jane
DeleteThere have been a few comments about a Bates --Duggar wedding ,
ReplyDeletebut there aren't any age matchup's… maybe one.....? ?
Look up the ages ,people .....doesn't seem likely to happen . ❣
The Bates children date like normal young people, the Duggars don't. Duggar "courting" rules would not work for them.
DeleteThey are all very close in age. Joy and Carlin are very close in age. Like a year difference. Very good friends. If it wasn't for the Duggars they would not have a show
DeleteI think the Duggars and Bates like each other; but have different life styles.
DeleteThere are plenty of age matchups. You don't have to be EXACTLY the same age. To The oldest matchup would be Katie with Jed or Jer. One of the little girls could one day end up with the younger teen Bates boys.
DeleteI wouldn't go as far as to state that Bates date like "normal people". They still have chaperones and don't kiss until the wedding. That's not quite "normal" even in Christian evangelical circles. And they all marry very young compared to average ages in the US.
DeleteI have noticed, though, they take more time to discern spouses than the Duggars. Most of their relationships have taken a couple of years, not a couple of months, before engagement. Michael and Josie took 3 to 4 years to get from the "starting to talk" stage to courtship.
But as the recent very speedy Duggar courtships have involved people they knew for years as friends, I suppose it's possible the Bates would be more willing to let a courtship with a Duggar move along faster than with a suitor who's only been on the scene for a couple months or so.
5:28, Zack and Whitney kissed before their wedding day, so obviously they’re allowed to, most of them just choose not to.
DeleteI will never understand why it's not OK to touch someone or kiss them before you're married to them. Love doesn't begin at the altar. At least it better not.
DeleteZach and Whit seemed disappointed in themselves tho when they revealed they had kissed before marriage. They said they tried not to but it was hard being so close to each other all the time. Hence why the chaperone thing keeps accountability to their goal, if they set that goal. in this family, with such a challenging standard to measure up to they probably felt like failures by kissing. They told their parents tho. I think that’s sweet.
DeleteI read somewhere that Zach and Whitney kissed before marriage, but also that they went and confessed it to their families as something they should NOT have done. I don't know of any other Bates couple kissing until the minister spoke the words "you may kiss your bride".
DeleteI also get the sense the Bates who courted other children of IBLP families have been stricter about the rules. So I assume any Bates-Duggar courtship would not involve any dating beforehand, and not involve handholding until engagement. (Since AFAIK those were the rules Erin / Chad and Michaela / Brandon followed.)
Anon at 2:48PM: I agree that love doesn't begin at the altar, but I recall Erin and Chad Bates posting very loving stuff on his blog, before engagement when they hadn't even held hands yet. Note that kissing itself is a Western tradition anyway.
DeleteNow there ARE versions of courtship that emphasize "guarding your heart" and perhaps not saying "I love you" until engagement and often still not fully opening our hearts until marriage. I think some who claim to court, are actually practicing arranged marriage, but I don't think the Duggars or Bates are. It's not like they don't touch at ALL before marriage.
One concern I have with some of the Duggar courtships is that they have been very quick and I do wonder at times if the couple knew each other well enough to truly commit to a lifelong relationship. But I'd think that even if they were kissing before marriage.
Jana & Nathan are only a few years apart. Some of the current couples have just as much or more of an age gap.
DeleteJason & Katie are only about 6 months apart. James is less than a year younger than Katie.
Isaiah is a year older than Johannah.
Jackson Duggar is less than 2 years older than Addallee.
Josie Duggar is less than a year older than Judson and about 2 years older than Jeb.
Quite a few possible match ups between the two families.
They certainly don't have to be the same age. Many of the Bates marriages/courtships have the men be 4 to 5 years older than the women. That's so for Zach/Whitney, Erin/Chad, Alyssa/John, and Josie/Kelton.
DeleteThat being said, Michael/Brandon, Tori/Bobby and Carlin/Evan aren't apart by more than 2 years. So I get the feeling it's not that Bates prefer older husbands, but that the Bates would want a husband to be able to financially support a family, independent of a TV show or inherited money. So I doubt there would ever be a Duggar son/Bates daughter match-up, though I could see the opposite happening.
I don't see any matches between the Bates and Duggars. The kids are friendly with each other but the Bates offspring seem more interested in getting a good education and having job skills rather than just appearing on TV and working for "daddy". When you have such different goals in life romances rarely happen.
ReplyDeleteI think it's much more likely for a Duggar girl to marry a Bates boy, since JB let Jinger marry Jeremy, and while Jeremy is a Christian he has had much more exposure to the "world" than the Bates. I can see a Duggar girl who wants some distance from the clan (but not as much as Jinger did) deciding to marry a Bates and move to Tennessee.
DeleteOn the other hand I think most of the Bates girls would not want to marry a Duggar and have a role ONLY of a wife and mother. Not that there's anything wrong with that role. But so far, all the married Bates daughters have taken some kind of paying job as well.
5:44- From statements that Gill and Kelly Bates have made, I think they place a high value on post-secondary education for their daughters
DeleteThe Bates offspring don't engage in the sort of dating practices the Duggars do. I can't see any Bates offspring wanting the highly structured "courtship" which lasts an extremely short period of time followed by an engagement and marriage within a couple of months.
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice the way the families are so close.
ReplyDeleteJoan,Marion and Marilyn
Just thought about the fact that Josiah's wedding must be soon. So excited to hear about it.
ReplyDeleteIt’s nice to see Carlin and Joy together. Carlin looks beautiful. I just wish Joy would have dressed a little more appropriately for a wedding.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel like the Duggars are ever dressed up compared to the Bates family lately. The Bates daughters certainly found a beautiful sense of style . They dress up for church more than a lot of the Duggars do when they're attending a wedding.
DeleteIt seems like the Bates focus a lot more on their looks than the Duggars. I'm not sure if that's just what UP wants us to see, but I would think the Bates wouldn't want that much emphasis on their looks.
DeleteSheesh...why are they ALWAYS accentuating their preganant midsections? I mean really?! It’s very weird.
ReplyDeleteHow do you want them to stand?
DeleteThis pose is a little awkward, like she's purposely trying to define where her bump is. Normally I find all the unnecessary comments about how they hold their bellies to be tedious, but this picture is kind of strange.
DeleteMaybe their arms at their sides, like most people do? They have a history of accentuating a growing midsection.
DeleteWhy don't they pin their ultrasound pictures on the fronts of their shirts? That would get the message across, and leave your hands free for whatever hands need to do.
DeleteAnon.10:30 I agree,some of the belly holding I didn't mind, but some does look strange. I believe their belly holding is becoming a habit...Jane
DeleteJoy looks beautiful, you guys!!!!
DeleteKendra was also in attendance sitting behind Mary Duggar. Didn't notice any other Duggars at Tori's wedding.
ReplyDeleteThe Bates and Duggars are sooooo different. I can not imagine a relationship working. They raise their kids very differently.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree.
DeleteJoy should not go to a wedding like that. A guest should dress Nice.
ReplyDeleteFor a person her age to wear a baggy tee shirt to a friend’s wedding is very strange and not polite.
DeleteDuggars and Bates weddings are always very casual. Lawson went to Jinger’s in Jeans and a t shirt. I’m pretty sure they don’t put a dress code on their invite
DeleteThis genre of remark is categorized as fashion critics! But even for fashion critics it is not very informed, it is just a matter of personal taste. As I recall Lily wore a bold style to Jill's wedding. Joy has chosen a black skirt and modern style top seems reasonable! Joy fit the criteria as far as I can see and did not out shine the bride, and looked nice as an expectant mom. I would be more critical of overly critical critics, after asll this is a joyous occasion! Let's be upbeat!
DeleteI love both of these families and their tv shows. I look forward to them every week when they are on and even watch them over again when possible. But their fascination with their bellies while pregnant and the skin tight clothing some of them wear is just bizarre, considering their beliefs. I guess they don’t realize how, fill in the blank, they look. But I still love them all and will continue to watch their tv shows as long as they are renewed.
ReplyDeleteI also find strange is the amount of make up that they wear. It doesn't seem modest to me.
ReplyDeleteHow is makeup not modest? It’s makeup
DeleteI agree @3:45!
DeleteTheir heavy eye makeup does seem to conflict with their beliefs on modesty and not drawing attention to your appearance.
DeleteIn their books the Duggars have written about not altering your appearance through hair dye or cosmetic surgeries, yet they excessively chemical and heat style their hair and often wear heavy amounts of makeup. It does strike me as vain and contradictory to the values they have said they live by.
DeleteDear everyone who is confused about why Joy's hand is placed below her belly, she did it so that when people look at this picture, they will know she is pregnant and not just really fat. Dear everyone else who comments about tight maternity clothes, at some point everything gets tight. And even before that happens, it can be difficult to find maternity clothes that don't accentuate a pregnant belly. Did everyone lose their objective reasoning skills? Has no one here tried to look cute in maternity clothes? And did everyone forget the manners their mother (at least should have) taught them?! I can't believe people are so rude to some pregnant women!
ReplyDeleteI know! Thank you for your comment!
DeleteHuh? Joy has her pictures of being pregnent plastered all over the web and magazines, how does holding her stomach constantly have anything to do with trying to let people know she is pregnant lol.
DeleteIt's all about not looking fat in a photo to others who don't know they are pregnant, if they define their belly they are shouting look I'm just PG not fat, I know that's why, if you want to be perfectly honest.How many first trimester woman say they can't wait to look pregnant and not just like they gained weight.Even in some second or third trimesters some poses may be unflattering as to look heavy instead of PG, I know that's why they do it, no big deal to each is own.😍
ReplyDeleteMaybe Joy got so used to doing that in the earlier stages that she just kept doing it out of habit even after it was obvious that she was pregnant? Although I agree that some people are making a big deal out of something pretty insignificant, this particular pose does look a little odd to me because of the position of her hand. Maybe it's just the angle.
DeleteNice friendship
ReplyDelete