Counting On "Let Them Eat Cake"
- Four weeks before the wedding, Joy and Austin visit the home where they will be living after marriage. It needs some work, but Austin thinks it’s in a great locations and will turn a profit one day. Jedidiah comes along to discuss renovation plans.
- “I am the first sister to actually…have her own home, and it feels amazing,” says Joy.
- “I think it’s possible that we’ll stay in this house like two years,” says Austin. “Hopefully we have maybe our first kid in there.”
- On another day, Austin and some friends and family start demolishing walls. If the project isn’t finished by the wedding day, he and Joy will either live in a camper on the property or in an apartment.
- Joy comes by, and Austin gives her a swatch from his mom’s wedding dress to incorporate into her gown. Joy and the other Duggar women are about to leave to go dress shopping at Renee Miller’s shop in Kentucky.
- Joseph and Kendra head out on a rollerblading date with James and Jackson as their chaperones. (James is the “head” chaperone, while Jackson is the “chaperone in training.”)
- Rollerblading is a bit challenging for Kendra, but Joseph shows her the ropes.
- Even though Joe and Kendra are not holding hands during courtship, Kendra does grab Joe’s hand to steady herself. They say they talked to their parents ahead of time to make sure that would be okay.
- Joy, Austin, Michelle, and Josie visit a bakery for a wedding cake taste test. The bride and groom decide on a white cake with buttercream frosting.
- “He’s going to feed me first, and then I’m going to mash him,” jokes Joy.
- Down in Laredo, Jinger and Jeremy take a Mexican cooking class at La India.
- Michelle, Joy, Jana, and some of the little girls meet at Jessa’s house to shop for bridesmaid dresses online. All the dresses will be navy, but some of the cuts will be slightly different.
- When the dresses arrive, Joy gathers the bridesmaids to try them on.
- Later, viewers watch the Seewald family of four interact one evening. Spurgeon loves wrestling with Dad and making people laugh.
- Down in Central America, "mid-husband" Derick helps Jill, who is in her second trimester, listen to Samuel's heartbeat.
They had to consult their parents to find out if it would be OK to grab onto someone's hand to keep them from falling while rollerblading? They're supposed to be mature enough to be getting married, yet they can't figure out something like that by themselves?? Were they truly worried that a moment of panic while losing balance (in public, with two chaperones) would turn into something sinful if hands met??? Boy, these kids sure have been raised to fear the least bit of physical contact while single! I don't see that as being healthy, or normal.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that's not the reason why they had to ask. It's more out of respect for their parents.
DeleteIt's not about asking for permission or needing help "figuring it out". It's about seeking out godly counsel and accountability.
DeleteSomething that goes against the norm is easily misunderstood and scrutinized. Well done, Duggars, on being in the world but not of it.
You always need your parents even when you get old and get gray hair...Jane
DeleteI thought that was strange too. I thought they set their own guidlines? Surely they can decide for themselves if it were appropriate or not.
Deleteit wont matter in a few weeks. your venting will be VOID
DeleteTototally agree !!!!!!!at least let the girl grab the chaperone hand what if she would've hurt her shelf
DeleteGood point! What happens if one of the courting Duggars tripped while on a date and fell on top of the other? Crazy things can happen on dates, depending on what you do lol
DeleteThat is odd...
DeleteI guess if you accidentally trip and fall on each other on a date, you have to move the wedding up??
DeleteIf the engaged couple sets their own courtship rules why do they need to check with their parents concerning hand holding? 3 second sidehugs and now getting permission to take someone else's hand for balance; things are getting rather silly.
ReplyDeleteThey clearly do not set their own courtship rules if they needed permission to grab a hand of someone who was potentially falling. I really can't wrap my mind around why holding hands is taboo in a relationship. I always seen holding hands as something that was innocent and sweet. How is that dirty or tempting in a relationship, especially in an engagement relationship. Seems so uncalled for to be that fearful.
DeleteI agree! It's not like they're thinking of intimacy as they falling!
DeleteThey don't set their own courtship rules if they had to ask permission to grab someone's hand to keep them from falling. That seems so strange to get "permission" to do something like that.
DeleteSeriously, Joseph and Kendra have to check with their parents to see if they can grab hands, if necessary, while rollerblading?? They aren't ready to get married if they can't make some common sense decisions for themselves!!
ReplyDeleteJoe and Kendra had to get prior approval from the parents in order to grab his hand to steady her? I find it incomprehensible that two grown adults could not come to this conclusion on their own. Yikes, they are not children! It's bad enough that they rely on kids to chaperone them. If they're that unsure of their own convictions, perhaps they'd have been better off maturing a bit more before getting married.
ReplyDeleteI had to do more hand holding when I was in 6th grade and we did square dancing in gym class. Guess I should have refused on moral grounds, or consulted my parents first. Actually, none of the boys wanted to touch icky girls back then, LOL! Kids should be allowed to be kids, without being given guilt about hands touching while skating.
DeleteToo late now they already married lol
DeleteThey need adults to chaperone...weird to have "the littles" be doing something like that
DeleteI am sure there were adults on the camera crew. Do you think they needed even more adults there while they are being filmed?
DeleteWho's going to chaperone Josie?
DeleteTeens usually chaperone as such was the case this time too.
DeleteIf and when,,,Josie's chaperones may be the grandchildren who. Are coming along right now....who be will her nieces and nephews.
DeleteOr for goodness sake --- granny & pappy ! ....poor girl.
I loved the interview with Jackson - like old times! I also realized why Austin came off a little heavy-handed in their wedding episode after seeing this episode. This episode showed how Joy had issues with being indecisive and deferred to Austin to make choices. In the wedding episode it seemed like her desires were being swallowed up by his, but the indecisiveness rounds out the picture. I hereby change my opinion of Austin to a more positive one. :)
ReplyDeleteTotally agree, I thought he was being a jerk, and I see now that he's not. Sorry Austin!
DeleteI saw the episode and couldn't help but feel a little aggravated at Joy. She seemed upset that Austin would not tell her what to do. I felt sorry for him. That will get old very fast so she needs to shape up!
DeleteShe's very undecisive. She didn't even know which hairstyle to go with at her wedding. She wanted Austin to decide. He wanted her to decide. And then she doesn't even know which kind of cake she likes. She needs to learn to let her opinions flow. For example: "I don't like red velvet, but I love vanilla, so let's try those." She also called Jill in Central America to help her pick out her new glasses. Jill said, "We have to help her decide." Hopefully she outgrows the undecisiveness.
DeleteOh wow 9:23. I have friends who are indecisive too. I love them as they are my friend's but it's hard because I feel like they don't really know what they like. Joy, being in the middle was probably used to her older sisters making decisions and she followed them. I'm sure she will get used to it. It will take practice!
DeleteSomeone who can't make her own decisions shouldn't be married. I thought Jessa said Joy is mature. How is she ever going to be a parent?
DeleteI didn't understand why she wasn't more enthusiastic about the wedding preparations. This is supposedly the big day the Duggar girls wait for "their whole life." And Joy brought an "I don't care" attitude with her? I sure hope she was feeling more excitement about her choice of grooms than she was about her choice of cakes.
Delete@9:23 Her indecisiveness revolves around shopping. There is a chance she really doesn't care about those material things and therefore having to make decisions is a constant stress. Some people will never enjoy those things, it is not something she "needs to grow out of".
DeleteMy worry is that she is putting on an act of indecisiveness to cover up her true feelings. She obviously did not have any interest in a traditional wedding and her traditional role in it. She is a tomboy! That's OK! It's too bad if she feels she has to suppress that for the sake of "tradition".
DeleteLol I can't wait to see her try to pick baby names
DeleteIs Joy struggling with decision making or is she purposely doing this to be submissive to him? Was she taught to let him make decisions and to go with what he wants so much that she can't even drum up much of an opinion on matters?
DeleteThey should have eloped. That would have solved everything.
DeleteShe really didn't seem to care about the wedding. She said "weddings are overrrated" before correcting herself and saying wedding planning and that she wouldn't stay long at her reception.I feel like she just want to get it over with.
DeleteWhile watching the episode, she seemed to just want to be doing what her sisters did for their wedding. She said a couple of time "like the other weddings". It seems to me that she just want to mimic big sister Jill that she really seem to take as a model for her life.
Exactly. It seems the wedding and all its pageantry wasn't for the sake of the bride, but as an excuse to film and to invite 1000 of their "closest friends." It was her day, and it should have been her choice. Sad that she really had no choice at all.
DeleteI have a hard time making some decisions, "some" being the key word. Its just my personality. My name is Leah which means weary. Im 38 and have 4 kids. I manage. Im a lot like joy, in that, i dont like shopping for myself for clothes and i tend to get exhausted by lots of decision making. I DID NOT have a wedding. I eloped. I knew it would be too overwhelming of a process for me!! Lol. Ive never regretted it. Too many ive known had the elaborate wedding and a divorce to follow. 16 years and 4 kids later we are in love! Wedding or no wedding it doesnt matter. We said our vows and meant them, just not in front of hundreds of people. Im also super shy and dont like a lot of attention being drawn to me. It makes me uncomfortable and my husband was fine with elopement too. 2 broke college students that we were just cared about signing the papers! Saved our family lots of cash too hehe
DeleteI think Austin is great for Joy. He seems to be a great leader and a good fit for her. I hope God chooses to bless them with many babies!
ReplyDeleteI hope I'm misinterpreting this, but I've seen many comments on the married couple posts that seem to equate that God blesses people with babies as some type of reward for our behavior. There also seems to be this mindset that the Duggars are so amazing that they "deserve" a baby/many babies because they're so amazing. The Bible teaches us that none of us deserved to be saved and that any good we are or do after we're saved is God working in us to cause us to want to be and behave godly. Judging from the comments sections on most posts, the Duggars are getting glorified, not God. How is that pointing people to God?
DeleteAnd furthermore, how does that mindset impact an infertile couple. Somehow they're being punished? Think about how many unplanned babies are conceived every day, and yet many loving couples who are so desiring a child cannot have one. What a sad mindset to think that children are only a blessing for the most deserving.
DeleteBlessings are gifts. Babies are gifts. Babies are not the only kind of gift possible. Nothing complicated there.
DeleteThat's why I prefer the Bates family!!
ReplyDeleteVery disappointed to see that Jill had "Dr. Derick" for her prenatal care.
ReplyDelete(eye roll) Jill obviously knows how to use a Doppler from her midwife training, and she obviously taught her husband how to use it.
DeleteI think their rules on courtship are little too strict, but just except it and move on.
ReplyDeleteIf Joy is the first "sister" to have her own home, are the other couples renting from JB?
ReplyDeleteI was confused by this too, didn't Jinger and Jeremy buy a house in Texas?
DeleteJinger and Jeremy have also bought a home in Laredo, but maybe Joy and Austin were first. The timing was close though.
DeleteDid Austin incorporate any pieces of Jim Bob's wedding suit into his?
ReplyDeleteFunniest comment, you win the best blog post today!!
Deletelol
DeleteWait, why is that funny!? What's the difference?
DeleteToo funny!!
DeleteI really believe TLC strives to make certain scenes more awkward than what they really are. I don't see a problem with them both telling their parents what may happen and asking if that's ok. That shows a deep respect for their parents and each other. Also, keep in mind this is their very first date. So far most of the couples resolved to hold hands until after engagement, not on the first date. I can see why they would want to ask their parents first. They're definitely not 'too immature' for marriage by any means.
ReplyDeleteI think it shows a deep distrust in others, to think that hand holding is bad.
DeleteAgree having to talk to the parents about grabbing hands on a roller blading date is a little and immature. Having children chaperone a date between two adults is a little ridiculous period unless they actually want it. The Bates trust their kids in courtship and only chaperone or send a chaperone if their courting or engaged adult children ask for. Also they realize from time their kids are going to make and they have to learn from those mistakes.
ReplyDeleteGenuine question, why is handholding not allowed during courtship? I held my girlfriend's hand even in the earlier stages of our relationship (without going further then that) and it was a nice way to show affection and feel connected to my partner in a simple way. No judgement for them, as they should live their lives as they want, I'm just confused by their reasoning
ReplyDeleteThey are afraid that a little hand-holding is going to lead to more than that and greater temptations. It's hard for me to understand. I cannot fathom having married my husband without ever showing any signs of affection prior to the wedding. We even lived together before marriage. No regrets and that was 30 years ago. That might not be for everyone and that's ok. But I don't like that the Duggars imply that doing so automatically leads to tragic and regrettable outcomes.
DeleteI did more than hold hands and side hug for 3 seconds, and nothing terrible came of it. In fact, I had a ton of fun, met some interesting guys, and made lasting memories. And I found a great husband, too. That was 40+ years ago! So glad I didn't have to look at dating as dangerous, or something to fear.
DeleteI could never get the hang of rollerblading. I can barely manage regular skates!
ReplyDeleteJinger also has her own home not sure when she bought her house maybe not before Joy was married and agree Joy if indecisive. Hope Austin doe not get tired of someone who never has her own opion
ReplyDeleteJessa and Ben bought the little ranch house recently, too. I can't remember if it was before or after Joy's wedding. I thought that was strange of Joy, to almost be bragging about being the first daughter to own a home. It's not a competition! And Joy, the home you bought? Ugh, you couldn't even live in it when you bought it, so what's the sense of bragging about it?
DeleteI think she was pointing out that upon marriage her other siblings lived in someone else's home; I.e: Grandma Mary's ranch, JB's guest house, Jeremy's bachelor appointment.
DeleteI think sometimes being one of the middle children, you get to have very few "firsts" of your own- the older kids kind of beat you to everything because they're older. I too was a little surprised that Joy was kind of bragging about it, but I can kind of understand it too. I'd have been much elated that I was marrying the man I love than about owning a home before my siblings. There is an undercurrent of sibling rivalry with the girls when it comes to stuff like this, how soon they conceive, and announcing pregnancies (they seem to be trying to "scoop" each other). They're not perfect; they struggle with the same tendencies as other siblings- the viewers just don't normally get to see those.
DeleteI love Kendra; she's always smiling!
ReplyDeleteAustin seems to be very level headed. I could see him getting along well with Jeremy, JD, Jer and Jed.
ReplyDeleteElle, can you tell me what happened to all the videos TLC released on this page. Some episodes were blocked but others were open and it was great to be able to watch. They have now disappeared and as I don't live in the USA or Canada, I have no access to TLC. They are blocked on You Tube also. May as well not follow the show if they are going to keep blocking them. Shame.
ReplyDeleteHi Judy,
DeleteUnfortunately, due to rights, networks are often required to block their online content from international readers. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. However, I would still encourage you to reach out to TLC and tell them where you live and what you're experiencing.
Ellie
Like so many other people I am unable to open the two videos posted above. Just a black box. TLC is becoming very frustrating.
ReplyDeleteThis is so great. I love that Kendra and Joseph's relationship is so cherished by those around them. I love how they thought about the hand holding issue beforehand. Very sweet.
ReplyDeleteWith Joy's indecisive nature and Austin's willingness to lead and take charge of a situation, I am sure they will find a groove in their marriage relationship that works for them. I don't understand Joy's inability to make decisions on things that seem to me would be important to a bride.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing they just weren't that important to Joy. She's never struck me as a "girly girl" who loves shopping or decorating or anything else like that.
DeleteJoe and Kendra weren't engaged yet, so it makes some sense that they checked in with their parents. They didn't get engaged until Joy and Austin's wedding day, remember?
ReplyDeleteIf you're old enough to be "courting" and thinking about about getting engaged, you're old enough to decide if it's OK to grab someone's hand instead of falling, and doing that without worrying that you're committing some terrible premarital sin.
DeleteJust a side note, none of the Duggar daughters OWN thier home. The title is in thier husbands name or thier fathers name and Jessa lives in grandma Marys old home, which now belongs to JB. Jeremy bought a house in Laredo under his name, not jinger. Derrick and Jill are living in housing funded my cross church so NONE of the Duggar daughters (or sons except for john David) have deeds to a house in thier own name.
ReplyDelete