I have a son the same age and I'd be so very apprehensive and disappointed if he and his girlfriend were married and having children at this age. Both are ready to graduate from college and launch their respective careers. I hope the best for the Seewalds. However, the message that the Duggars send to their viewers and fans is that marrying young and having many children is the goalpost. This may work out for a TV celebrity family with a reality show where money is no object. However, this is not reality for the masses and financial problems are one of the main reasons marriages fail. The average couple just out of high school is in no position to support a family. Adding to this stress is the ideology that a woman should be under the authority of a man, who may or may not let this power go to his head. To those who will surely take my comments as hateful- I would say that no one benefits from looking at anyone or any religion through rose-colored glasses. I can't remember who said this, but it's quite profound- The sign of an intelligent person is one who is able to entertain a multitude of divergent viewpoints at the same time.
Wow, you are not a real mother then. People find love and have children at different ages in life and if you are in love, who's to stop you? It's their business what they do in life and one day you are going to find out that no matter what you teach your kids, they don't always follow your direction. I pray that your son doesn't find anyone right now because his mother sounds like she isn't very supportive at all or better yet I pray that he does find someone, marries and have a big family right away.
I don't think your comments are hateful but I think everyone has different goals in life. I put career first & married at 35 yrs old and had a baby at 40 yrs old. My cousins married at 20 yrs old & had several babies. They were more stressed financially but they have had 2 more decades of family & togetherness. There is no one way to do things right. I know 18 yr olds who are more mature than some 40 yr olds. I know people who marry at 30 & divorce at 35. Also, do you want to live a simple life or do you "need" lots of costly things? There are many, many issues to consider to make your life the way you want it to be. Out of curiosity, I would like to know how Ben & Jessa pay for anything. Is it all from her reality show? Do her parents have enough money to support them? They definitely have a financial situation very different from most people.
I appreciate your position, but I don't think the Duggars or Seewalds want anyone to look at Christianity through rose-colored classes. I think they want people to see Christianity for what it is exactly.
6:46- Not a real mother? Not supportive? That's a pretty harsh and unGodly accusation to make! You've drawn some strong conclusions without a any facts to back them up. Plus, you missed the entire point of the comment you are blasting.
Why do people keep on assuming that getting married and have children at an early age is a wrong thing. It is what most our grandparents did and I don't get that if a woman chooses to have a career it is okay. No career bad. Do you believe that God is going to be bothered by so called 'career'as a pre-requistite.
I have seen more stresses amongst working couples than with couples where just one partner works. I am sick and tired of people assuming that the traditional set up is wrong and demeaning to women. I assume that you've never had to put up with the rubbish out there of career building in a secular world, why you make such comments.
As a matter of fact, Ben has an internship at a church (this was mentioned on sermon audio as he was a speaker at a conference they were advertising - which would be appropriate for someone his age). As for headship submission, he has also grown up in a household where the father does not have a strong hold over his daughters as with Jim-bob.
Look at his sister Jess who seems to have her own apartment and job as well as boyfriend. The father has not disowned her by the sound of things.
The conference had some very big wig speakers such as Voddie Baucham and Scott Brown who are successful in their own right and can serve as excellent contacts and mentors for Ben. These guys are very highly successful.
I guess you are both right. There are positives and negatives to both situations. I think this is up to the individual. However as a christian, should I decide to have children one day. As a working lady, I want to follow - Titus 2? or something that talks about guiding the household. I want to raise my children in the christian faith with christian values and principles, so I would rather put this first because the world is becoming increasingly wicked to children and leaving them at daycare where you don't know the person who is looking after them is scary enough
Again like I said it is up to the person. No two persons life is the same - even where they share the same beliefs.
7:10AM. Sadly you seem to have bought into the lies society keeps trying to cram down our throat. If everyone gets a college education who do you think will fill all those other services we need. Think about it, I believe we use more non-specialty services in a day than specialized ones. As far as that quote you sited just another ploy to try shame people who stick to their values.Some people are mature enough to marry in their late teens or early twenties some aren't. My husband and I were married at 18 and 19, we had 39 years together before he passed away, that was 14 years ago and I still miss him.We never had a big house and all the trappings some people think are necessities today,there is more than that, the things money can't buy.
You are correct that not everyone needs to or wants to go to college. I think you are missing the point of 7:10 AM post. Neither Jessa or Ben have gone to college and got degrees that would lead to careers (Ben has an associates degree from community college). Neither of them have jobs, we keep hearing that Ben works for his FIL but its very sketchy, what exactly does he do, does he go to work every day, does he work from home, all questions people are curious about but have never been answered. They have a young family to support and while they have the show they have money to live on, but that won't last forever. What will Ben do when the money runs out and he has 10 kids to clothe, feed and keep a roof over their heads?
Well stated! My husband and I were married young as well. My husband just has a two year associates degree, but he has worked hard and continued to learn in his field. He makes more money than any of the college graduates we know. Hard work and integrity are more important than a college degree.
I agree that not everyone is meant to go to college, but society keeps wanting to cram that down our throats, and many employers require college degrees for jobs that don't actually require it. Bring back trade schools and shop classes.
I agree with this comment. It is a pretentious attitude that says a person needs a college education. What a person needs can be met in more than one way. People need Jesus and to serve the Lord.
I believe Ben has an internship at a church someplace. It says so in his bio up on sermon audio as he is/was a speaker at a conference.
Also the kid is only 22 and most 22 year olds dont have a career yet unless they are sportspeople or entertainers.
In terms of jobs, there are many people his age who have not had a proper job yet and are voluntary helping out someone or in internships and most couples in their early 20s raising families do not start of with much.
Methinks that by the time they get to '10 children' he would have some fully fledge career or business. I believe Voddie Baucham (one of the bigwig speakers at bens conference)am can command up to 5000 dollars a week for just facilitating courses for youth or speaking. Enough to feed his family of more than five?
Oh by the way, lots of people have/will work for the in-laws. Nothing wrong with that - Jared kusher anyone? also Gordon Ramsey ( Ramsey kitchen nightmares) worked for his daddy in law for a while in his 20s. Now he is running plenty of businesses in his own right.
You're right that not everyone needs a college education. However, most teenagers aren't ready to get married so young today. Things have changed in the years since you got married. People don't seem to grow up as fast today as they used to.
I agree whole heartedly that people don't grow up as fast these days. I think one reason is that kids these days aren't given as much reponsibility as they used to. While college is not for everyone and neither is early marriage, kids need to responsibility along with guidance to help them mature.
I agree with many comments above on both viewpoints. One individual can be mature at 22 when another 22 year-old is not mature.
Quite frankly I have not seen much maturity in either Ben or Jessa's life. Austin is a hard worker, has flipped 5 homes. Seems to have skill sets and time management skills. Derick and Jeremy are both college graduates and have the means to support their families. I see no long-term job or one area in life that Ben has given to prepare himself for a permanent income and ability to provide for his Family.
I am sure their marriage is fine, but Ben does not present himself nor carry himself like a man.
None the less, some couples marry young, then grow and mature together. Seems like Ben was the son in law that was let off the hook the easiest and yet the less prepared to provide financially for a Family.
Not saying this to be unkind, just my observation.
I believe that not all individuals are college material. I do believe, however, that young men should be motivated to find a skill set like electrician, carpenter, plumber and etc. that will prepare and enable a young man the ability to earn a good living. Ben has shown no career path. He received a two year associate degree, but what is he doing with it and how is he making a living with an associates degree? We see him going on engagement trips, apartment decorating trips, football camps, changing diapers and that is about it. How do these activities provide a living? You do not see him working for Jim Bob Duggar anymore. How does Ben provide for his Family? Ellie and Lily could you tell the blog readers what Ben is doing toward preparing for a career or the ministry?
The Duggars are afforded ability to earn excellent money because of TLC show. However, a mature person never takes a position that a lucrative situation will last forever. One must prepare for the worst and be thankful if life always provides financial security.
Maturity drives one to desire to provide for self and for their Family! Male or Female.
Being dependent on God, hard work and driving ones' self to be independent of parents and government assistance brings great satisfaction and liberty in life!
I think I read that Ben is working towards a Bachelor's degree. Why all of the judgment? And for the record, my husband has an associate's degree and is a Senior Software Developer making $100,000 a year. (That's double the median household income in our area.) An associate's degree + years of experience in one's field can lead to extremely rich opportunities.
Thanks for leaving your comments! We answer as many of your questions as we can, but due to the number of comments we receive daily, we are unable to answer every one. Our aim is to post all points of view, but we do not post anything that is profane, insulting, derogatory, or in poor taste.
Happy Birthday Ben. Enjoy your day!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Ben!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Ben ! Do something special today with your family. Jane
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Ben! Hope you have a great day!
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed birthday Ben!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Ben! Your such a good daddy and wife to Jessa!
ReplyDeleteWishing you a year of happiness and blessings. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN
Joan,Marion and Marilyn
I congratulate Ben on becoming a husband and a Dad of two boys. Wishing you a happy birthday and a happy year!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Ben! Blessings to you all 365 days !
ReplyDeleteI have a son the same age and I'd be so very apprehensive and disappointed if he and his girlfriend were married and having children at this age. Both are ready to graduate from college and launch their respective careers. I hope the best for the Seewalds. However, the message that the Duggars send to their viewers and fans is that marrying young and having many children is the goalpost. This may work out for a TV celebrity family with a reality show where money is no object. However, this is not reality for the masses and financial problems are one of the main reasons marriages fail. The average couple just out of high school is in no position to support a family. Adding to this stress is the ideology that a woman should be under the authority of a man, who may or may not let this power go to his head.
ReplyDeleteTo those who will surely take my comments as hateful- I would say that no one benefits from looking at anyone or any religion through rose-colored glasses. I can't remember who said this, but it's quite profound- The sign of an intelligent person is one who is able to entertain a multitude of divergent viewpoints at the same time.
Wow, you are not a real mother then. People find love and have children at different ages in life and if you are in love, who's to stop you? It's their business what they do in life and one day you are going to find out that no matter what you teach your kids, they don't always follow your direction. I pray that your son doesn't find anyone right now because his mother sounds like she isn't very supportive at all or better yet I pray that he does find someone, marries and have a big family right away.
DeleteI don't think your comments are hateful but I think everyone has different goals in life. I put career first & married at 35 yrs old and had a baby at 40 yrs old. My cousins married at 20 yrs old & had several babies. They were more stressed financially but they have had 2 more decades of family & togetherness. There is no one way to do things right. I know 18 yr olds who are more mature than some 40 yr olds. I know people who marry at 30 & divorce at 35. Also, do you want to live a simple life or do you "need" lots of costly things? There are many, many issues to consider to make your life the way you want it to be. Out of curiosity, I would like to know how Ben & Jessa pay for anything. Is it all from her reality show? Do her parents have enough money to support them? They definitely have a financial situation very different from most people.
DeleteI appreciate your position, but I don't think the Duggars or Seewalds want anyone to look at Christianity through rose-colored classes. I think they want people to see Christianity for what it is exactly.
Delete6:46- Not a real mother? Not supportive? That's a pretty harsh and unGodly accusation to make! You've drawn some strong conclusions without a any facts to back them up. Plus, you missed the entire point of the comment you are blasting.
DeleteWhy do people keep on assuming that getting married and have children at an early age is a wrong thing. It is what most our grandparents did and I don't get that if a woman chooses to have a career it is okay. No career bad. Do you believe that God is going to be bothered by so called 'career'as a pre-requistite.
DeleteI have seen more stresses amongst working couples than with couples where just one partner works. I am sick and tired of people assuming that the traditional set up is wrong and demeaning to women. I assume that you've never had to put up with the rubbish out there of career building in a secular world, why you make such comments.
As a matter of fact, Ben has an internship at a church (this was mentioned on sermon audio as he was a speaker at a conference they were advertising - which would be appropriate for someone his age). As for headship submission, he has also grown up in a household where the father does not have a strong hold over his daughters as with Jim-bob.
Look at his sister Jess who seems to have her own apartment and job as well as boyfriend. The father has not disowned her by the sound of things.
The conference had some very big wig speakers such as Voddie Baucham and Scott Brown who are successful in their own right and can serve as excellent contacts and mentors for Ben. These guys are very highly successful.
8:48 There are good and bad examples for each scenario. There is no perfect way to do things.
DeleteDIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Yes, I'm in all caps because I'm screaming it!
DeleteAnonymous @ 11.25 and 9.25pm
DeleteI'm the anonymous at 8.48.
I guess you are both right. There are positives and negatives to both situations. I think this is up to the individual. However as a christian, should I decide to have children one day. As a working lady, I want to follow - Titus 2? or something that talks about guiding the household. I want to raise my children in the christian faith with christian values and principles, so I would rather put this first because the world is becoming increasingly wicked to children and leaving them at daycare where you don't know the person who is looking after them is scary enough
Again like I said it is up to the person. No two persons life is the same - even where they share the same beliefs.
Happy birthday Benjamin!
ReplyDelete7:10AM. Sadly you seem to have bought into the lies society keeps trying to cram down our throat. If everyone gets a college education who do you think will fill all those other services we need. Think about it, I believe we use more non-specialty services in a day than specialized ones. As far as that quote you sited just another ploy to try shame people who stick to their values.Some people are mature enough to marry in their late teens or early twenties some aren't. My husband and I were married at 18 and 19, we had 39 years together before he passed away, that was 14 years ago and I still miss him.We never had a big house and all the trappings some people think are necessities today,there is more than that, the things money can't buy.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct that not everyone needs to or wants to go to college. I think you are missing the point of 7:10 AM post. Neither Jessa or Ben have gone to college and got degrees that would lead to careers (Ben has an associates degree from community college). Neither of them have jobs, we keep hearing that Ben works for his FIL but its very sketchy, what exactly does he do, does he go to work every day, does he work from home, all questions people are curious about but have never been answered. They have a young family to support and while they have the show they have money to live on, but that won't last forever. What will Ben do when the money runs out and he has 10 kids to clothe, feed and keep a roof over their heads?
DeleteWell stated! My husband and I were married young as well. My husband just has a two year associates degree, but he has worked hard and continued to learn in his field. He makes more money than any of the college graduates we know. Hard work and integrity are more important than a college degree.
DeleteI agree that not everyone is meant to go to college, but society keeps wanting to cram that down our throats, and many employers require college degrees for jobs that don't actually require it. Bring back trade schools and shop classes.
DeleteI agree with this comment. It is a pretentious attitude that says a person needs a college education. What a person needs can be met in more than one way. People need Jesus and to serve the Lord.
DeleteAnonymous @2.44pm
DeleteI believe Ben has an internship at a church someplace. It says so in his bio up on sermon audio as he is/was a speaker at a conference.
Also the kid is only 22 and most 22 year olds dont have a career yet unless they are sportspeople or entertainers.
In terms of jobs, there are many people his age who have not had a proper job yet and are voluntary helping out someone or in internships and most couples in their early 20s raising families do not start of with much.
Methinks that by the time they get to '10 children' he would have some fully fledge career or business. I believe Voddie Baucham (one of the bigwig speakers at bens conference)am can command up to 5000 dollars a week for just facilitating courses for youth or speaking. Enough to feed his family of more than five?
Oh by the way, lots of people have/will work for the in-laws. Nothing wrong with that - Jared kusher anyone? also Gordon Ramsey ( Ramsey kitchen nightmares) worked for his daddy in law for a while in his 20s. Now he is running plenty of businesses in his own right.
Nothing terrible with working for in-laws.
You're right that not everyone needs a college education. However, most teenagers aren't ready to get married so young today. Things have changed in the years since you got married. People don't seem to grow up as fast today as they used to.
ReplyDeleteI agree whole heartedly that people don't grow up as fast these days. I think one reason is that kids these days aren't given as much reponsibility as they used to. While college is not for everyone and neither is early marriage, kids need to responsibility along with guidance to help them mature.
DeleteHappy Birthday! You guys are so cute!
ReplyDeleteI agree with many comments above on both viewpoints. One individual can be mature at 22 when another 22 year-old is not mature.
ReplyDeleteQuite frankly I have not seen much maturity in either Ben or Jessa's life. Austin is a hard worker, has flipped 5 homes. Seems to have skill sets and time management skills. Derick and Jeremy are both college graduates and have the means to support their families. I see no long-term job or one area in life that Ben has given to prepare himself for a permanent income and ability to provide for his Family.
I am sure their marriage is fine, but Ben does not present himself nor carry himself like a man.
None the less, some couples marry young, then grow and mature together. Seems like Ben was the son in law that was let off the hook the easiest and yet the less prepared to provide financially for a Family.
Not saying this to be unkind, just my observation.
I believe that not all individuals are college material. I do believe, however, that young men should be motivated to find a skill set like electrician, carpenter, plumber and etc. that will prepare and enable a young man the ability to earn a good living. Ben has shown no career path. He received a two year associate degree, but what is he doing with it and how is he making a living with an associates degree? We see him going on engagement trips, apartment decorating trips, football camps, changing diapers and that is about it. How do these activities provide a living? You do not see him working for Jim Bob Duggar anymore. How does Ben provide for his Family? Ellie and Lily could you tell the blog readers what Ben is doing toward preparing for a career or the ministry?
The Duggars are afforded ability to earn excellent money because of TLC show. However, a mature person never takes a position that a lucrative situation will last forever. One must prepare for the worst and be thankful if life always provides financial security.
Maturity drives one to desire to provide for self and for their Family! Male or Female.
Being dependent on God, hard work and driving ones' self to be independent of parents and government assistance brings great satisfaction and liberty in life!
I think I read that Ben is working towards a Bachelor's degree. Why all of the judgment? And for the record, my husband has an associate's degree and is a Senior Software Developer making $100,000 a year. (That's double the median household income in our area.) An associate's degree + years of experience in one's field can lead to extremely rich opportunities.
DeleteBen will be just fine.
Congratulations to your husband, LB.
DeleteHappy hatch day Ben from Maine ๐
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Ben...from this crazy Catholic family...lol๐ BLESSINGS BROTHER BEN...I will say the rosary tonight in your honor๐
ReplyDelete