Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar did marriage counseling with both Jill and Jessa and their fiancés leading up to their weddings. During counseling, the parents of 19 asked the husbands and wives to be questions from the Getting Ready for Marriage workbook, available on our Duggar Store page. During their sessions, Michelle had to work to keep Jim Bob in line. Video below:
the video is not working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePainful to watch, especially the kissing. I felt sorry for Ben. He had no clue what's goind on.....
ReplyDeleteShe is a little bit late in keeping Jim Bob in line.. Its ok to give each other a ilittle peck on the cheek but they give each other those kind of "Ya"ll need to get a room" kisses.
ReplyDeleteI think it would have been better if Ben and Jessa had gotten marriage counseling from someone outside their immediate family.
ReplyDeleteI agree.. I think them getting advice from the parents is good, but counseling should be done outside of family
DeleteThere is no way I would get marriage counseling from my future in laws they should get it from a preacher
ReplyDeleteAgree with you
DeleteThat very large church they married in just have a marriage ministry and premarriage classes they could take in groups of other married couples and they should be receiving counseling by the pastor marrying them as well. Parent instruction took place the childs life seeing the parents being married. Even ministers kids receive intructions from other ministers even if their parent performs the service. Its fine to endorse a book on the subject. But I think the couple would have been better prepared to discuss issues in private, not simple fill out a book and answer questions in front of one set of parents. And get council from a nonfamlily member in a place of privacy. I wish he would exhibit some self regulation.
ReplyDeleteWho wrote that rule. The Duggars have worked hard to win their children's heart and trust. They love their parents and who better to counsel them than the ones who are successful at it. They are super blessed to have parents like that who know them and have invested their whole lives in them to the max.
DeleteLOL this is the most cringeworthy video! Love the duggars though :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I had them council us before I got married. They are great faithful people. Love them.
ReplyDeleteIt's really not very funny when Jim Bob makes the situation awkward for Ben and Jessa on television. Honestly, it's hard to watch. If it's a serious topic, how about quit the fooling and be serious about it.
ReplyDeleteEwww. No joke she would be more comfortable with her mom reading that too her. I agree, painful to watch.
ReplyDeleteMy simple opinion: If you need a workbook (!!) for your marriage you probably shouldn't get married. No one has the key for a perfect marriage but whether my parents (47 years of marriage before my father passed away last year) nor our marriage (11 years) needs counselling or actual work to be the happiest and best thing ever.
ReplyDeleteIf you're true to your heart and respect each other that's what keeps a relationship going. Not a book.
Is this Book avaiable in Australia too?
ReplyDeleteI can't watch the video
ReplyDeleteThey def shouldn't have been counseled by her parents. I think Ben and Jessa would have benefitted more from someone else. Some things you just don't want to discus with your parents, no matter who they are.
ReplyDeleteHi Readers,
ReplyDeleteHere is the direct link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SJMZla_brOA
Blessings,
Lily and Ellie
I truly believe they would have benefited more from an outside source. The counseling I saw looked like it was a joke. When they lectured Derick about money when has an accounting degree. I hope all the couples took outside help. They need to work out their own path.
ReplyDeleteI think Jim Bob jokes around because he's uncomfortable with the subject matter and the cameras.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering if Michelle always had that distinctive voice or if it's something she does on purpose or grew into after she had children. I wonder how her voice sounded before she married.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that so many people are commenting that the young couple should get their counselling somewhere else and that someone said they should not use a work book, this is like censoring a family, sad. Of course this should happen just as it happened and if a couple can't even kiss that is downright prudish of the people who witness it, let there be love. There is love...that is a song sung at a wedding.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you who think this is wonderful, ask yourself if you would want
ReplyDeleteyou mother and father teaching you how to kiss. Or better yet, how about
your inlaws showing you how to kiss. This is really getting weird or even out of
line. I am a Christian and this is inappropriate.
I notice that when Ben is asked a question and wants to give an honest answer Jessa interrupts, saying everything is just great. Some honest talk needs to be happening with a preacher, not parents.
ReplyDeleteHi, Lily and Ellie,
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, thank you SO MUCH for all of your hard work and dedication to this blog (and the Bates blog).
I know you did a Duggar hair tutorial awhile back (thank you!!!) but I have tried their method and been unable to get the same results. I really like the way Jessa did her hair for her engagement and wedding. Do you know if she used the same curling iron they said they use in the hair tutorial? If it's different at all, I would love to see another tutorial on that, if possible!!
I watched the whole video and didn't see any kissing. Maybe it stopped early or something.
ReplyDeleteWell if this is the way for them to go, shouldn't Bens parents have been involved as well?
ReplyDeleteI don't see any problem with this video. I was waiting for the "awkward" part and it never happened. If it's the mention of intimacy, what's the big deal? It sounds like Michelle already covered that with Jessa. Isn't it healthy for mothers to talk about such things with their daughters? We are a conservative Christian home but I have already talked with my daughters about both the emotional and physical aspects of being a woman, and how wonderful the physical part of marriage will be for them some day. We also talk about the reasons why they should wait for marriage. I wish that my mother had been that open with me. The "just don't do it and let's pretend like it doesn't exist" approach I grew up with was not the best approach.
ReplyDeleteWise words... Definitely see it like this one hundred percent!
DeleteI think its wonderful that Jim Bob and Michelle took time out of their very busy lives to counsel Jessa and Ben. If more parents cared enough to sit down with their future son or daughter in laws perhaps marriages would be stronger. What better people to give counsel than those who know you best. They know your weaknesses and strengths. My husband and I received counsel from pastors at our church. I can say that it wasn't that great...those people didn't know me or my spouse. We went through the recommended book and filled out all the blanks. When our marriage counseling time came we discussed our answers. I think you can go a whole lot deeper in conversations about life with people who really know and care about you (your parents). It also doesn't bother me that Michelle and Jim Bob kissed in front of their future son in law. Why? Well, they probably do that ALL the time anyway in front of their children/friends...whom are probably used to it.
ReplyDeleteThis really didn't bother me all that much. Partly because I feel that a lot of times Jim Bob is joking around and his jokes are usually really corny. But also because I think I've seen worse. Before my brother and his wife were married my dad used to watch porn videos with my future sister-in-law. Broad daylight, right out where anyone who walked into the living room could see as if it was no big deal. They invited my brother to watch a few times but he was too creeped out. My dad also made a lot of jokes about him and my mom staying in the same room at the resort where my brother and sister-in-law went for their honeymoon. Dad was always making dirty jokes at the expense of my brother and his wife because he thought they were funny. My granddad has always been the same way. I just don't think it was a big deal.
ReplyDeleteDid they do the same with Josh and Anna?
ReplyDeleteRe Josh & Anna pre marital counseling with Jim Bob. & Michelle? My guess is no. The male Duggar adult kids get a pass. Very sexist.
DeleteIt is highly disturbing that a father would want to discuss these things with his daughter... That should be left to Michelle. #MajorICK
ReplyDeleteWhen I got married all couples in the Catholic Church were required to have go to counseling AND what's called Engagmnent Encounter for a 2 day retreat. Our parents were not there, but it was conducted by other married couples and a few priests. This should not be performed by one's parents. It is personal and intimate. If I were Ben's parents, I would have put a stop to that.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see any kissing or any talk of intimacy in the video. Not sure why people are calling it painful to watch.
ReplyDeleteI thought it funny and loved, loved, loved when Michelle gave Jim Bob that look and was going to hit him with the book. That made my day even though it was all in good fun. The fact Michelle put her foot down and was adamant that SHE was going to ask the questions was awesome. Go Michelle! Loved this video.
I think Jim Bob and Michelle are excellent examples of a genuine Christian marriage and can provide a very non text book way of demonstrating how these principles play out in marriage, however; I think it should be up to Jessa and Ben on whom they feel more comfortable with for counseling: her parents or a trusted member of clergy.
ReplyDeleteIn jessa says yes to the dress, shouldn't James be in school?
ReplyDeleteThat video was a little too much. Jessa and Ben should be able to know how to kiss once they are married. Jim-Bob should not have put the couple in an awkward and possibly embarassing situation.
ReplyDeleteJoan,Marion and Marilyn
It really is sad that they are marrying off all their daughters instead of encouraging college... I find this to be the easy way out!
ReplyDeleteI agree it is strange that people want to rule the Duggars family life with their idea of how things should play out. I just appreciate that the Duggars allowed one of their private family conversations to be filmed and shared. Thanks to the Duggars! Seems like a purposeful, organized, functional thing for them to be doing, why not? More power to them. And thanks to Lily and Ellie who are good at sharing posts!
ReplyDeleteIf she has no idea her parents understandings by 18 all they sit downs are not going to change a thing. It's what they do not what they say. It's not about what her parents did. It's about the two of them having discussions and learning their discussion style to conclude a conflict.
ReplyDeleteI am in total favour of ANYONE getting counselling before getting married. That should be law. My dad is a pastor, and i found it uncomfortable with the little bit of counselling that he did do with us (we took most of our counselling from/with our pastor). I don't think it's super healthy for parents (pastors, or not) to do the majority of counselling (ANY kind of counselling). That being said though, my dad is very knowledgeable, and gives great advice...and it is usually useful. I am glad that the young couples felt comfortable with her parents doing the counselling...but they shoudl have also gone to their pastor.
ReplyDeleteParents usually provide advice based on their marital experience, etc.which is all fine and good, but to provide THE counseling itself and ALL OF IT? No, I don't think that's the way to go. The parents aren't objective and sometimes, even maybe in this family someone MAY have an opinion or something to say that just isn't the parents' business. After all, the Duggar parents are still strangers to the new "in law child" and he or she may not feel comfortable speaking absolutely ALL to them as they would with a minister or the person performing the ceremony etc.
ReplyDeleteI did not feel confortable to see the video.... I understand couple needs advise but by their parents on face to face meeting.... Hummmmmmm..... I don't know. It does not seem right.
ReplyDeleteIf the subject matter is awkward and embarrassing then maybe little warning bells should go off in Jim Bob and Michelle"s heads. Perhaps this isn't for television. Last time I checked, this is still a free country. No one is making them discuss this stuff for general public viewing.
ReplyDeleteWe ope and pray that everything goes well with the birth of the 1st Dillard baby SOON!
ReplyDeleteI wish they were able to do counseling with another couple, because they've already been able to see their parents' marriages and learn from them. I would think it would be beneficial to work with another couple, since no marriage is the same, and you can learn from other people, too. Perhaps they'd also be able to be more open and honest with other mentors than their parents. There have to be other Christians in their life who could have helped them prepare for marriage, too!
ReplyDeleteI think the reason the parents do counseling is because the Duggars go to a home church that may not have a set pastor. And Mike Schadt was out of country so he couldn't do it. I don't see a problem with the parents helping their children. It shows a lot of care for Jessa.
ReplyDelete