In the following video, Jill (Duggar) Dillard compares her courtship and engagement to her parents' dating relationship and engagement. "A wedding day isn't just a wedding day," say Jill. "It's the beginning of your marriage, the beginning of [the] rest of your life together."
Video no longer available
I'm sorry how did Jim bob and Michelle not save themselves for each other when they were sharing those things together. Honestly I don't understand why they make hugging and hand holding such a sexual thing. It's really not and making a big deal about jessa and Ben holding hands in prayer is ridiculous. If you're having impure thoughts while in prayer there's a problem!
ReplyDeleteI think what she meant was saving that for after they become one. It's one thing to say your the only man I've ever kissed but a totally different thing to say I gave my husband my first kiss. And SHOCKER but yes the devil can make you have impure thoughts during prayer. That is one of the times that he attacks the most to try to make you loose focus from God. I don't think there is anything wrong with setting relationship standards. It's THEIR relationship so who cares!?!?!? Would I go by all of the standards the Duggers set for theirselves & their family? No. But I'm no one to say that any of it is wrong or to much. It's THEIR lives! Ppl act like omg so many rules I couldn't take it how restricting I would be so unhappy following all those rules. Well, do ANY of the Duggers look unhappy to you????
DeleteNice. There needs to be an emphasis on evangelism/conversion. Not everyone is living the foundations that underlie this conversation. I am sure some people, like myself, love the Duggars but are at a loss as to how they would ever influence the younger generation in their lives to live by these Biblical standards of no fornication.
ReplyDeleteAs christians its is want God asks us. He asks this of us to protect our hearts and to not attach ourselves to someone that isnt the right person. They raised them right I don't agree with everything they do but they are a good family. My husband I saved ourselves for marriage and it was so worth it. Infact we didn't kiss till we got engaged, it was my first kiss at 24, it was a conviction I had since I was 16. It wasn't always easy but well worth it and well worth protecting my heart.
DeleteI was raised by totally unreligious parents. The only reason they married was because my mother fell pregnant with me.
DeleteI waited till I was married and I'm far from alone. It is not just people who live by the Bible who are "waiting" till marriage.
I love watching the show and my young girls watch with me. I find what your family brings to TV so refreshing. You really have a great message on family values! God Bless.
ReplyDeleteJill seems so level-headed, well adjusted, and mature for such a relatively -- and most would say overly sheltered -- young age. Derick seems to bring out the best in her. She has blossomed into a beautiful young woman. She just glows whenever she talks about her new life.
ReplyDeleteI love watching yalls show I would love to meet yall sometime
ReplyDeleteThis is off subject but I was sincerely wondering how Jim Bob and Michelle feel about the title of the show when it doesn't bear witness to the true number of children they gave birth to. I understand this is a very sensitive subject to them both for sure, I just wonder if it bothers them the show is titled "19 kids...." when they really had 21. To me it takes away from the 2 in heaven. Sorry, just a sincere thought.
ReplyDeleteI've thought about that too. I even have friend's, who lost a son when he was 4 months old, but when they are asked the number of children they have , they don't count that child. I don't know, but maybe it hurts to keep explaining what happened.
DeleteI'm sure it's just that they're raising 19 kids....... I'm sure they don't think any less of the two that are in heaven.
DeleteI think as parents we try and help our children to grow up with even more information than we had. We have all made mistakes and if we can prevent our children from making those mistakes then we have really achieved something as a parent. Although I think there is nothing wrong with dating it is not a sin there parents have given them an alternative that is really special. If I had know that years ago I might have done the same thing. The important part to take away from this is that it was their choice. This was not forced upon them or told you have to do it this way which I think is really big misconception of this family. Each couple made there own choices and there parents respected that and held them accountable to their decision. Way to go mom and dad. God bless.
ReplyDeleteI think the values that these parents are passing on to their children are solid, however in my opinion, some the things actions and discussions I have witnessed by watching the show are pretty over the top. I believe that it is important to share your values and morals with your children, however, I also believe that too much, too soon, too often can push them away as well.
ReplyDeleteI love that Jessa and Ben decided to have their first kiss in private. She's had to share so much of herself and her life with her family-and with the world! I'm impressed with them making that decision...regardless of how many people will be disappointed that they weren't allowed to watch them share their first kiss.
ReplyDeleteOn another note- I was sceptical about Jessa's true feelings for Ben. The end of the engagement special (when she walks into the chapel-TBO, the rest bored me)...I saw a whole new side to Jessa. Seeing her so vulnerable made me see her a little differently.
The thing is these couples are only aloud to choose either to follow the rules there parents have for them or to create more rules for themselves. If one of the couples decided to date or be alone before they are married they wouldn't be aloud. It's sad that they think dating is all about the physical when it's not.
ReplyDeleteJill even says in this video that her parents left it to her to decide how far she wanted to go & that she decided to save what she saved for marriage. While all of their beliefs are not for me I don't at all knock any of them. TO EACH THEIR OWN! I don't think they think a relationship is only the physical side. I believe this is why they set up the "skill" building. BUT when you are in love and love someone, the feeling of wanting to be physical comes naturally without meaning to!
DeleteI truely think it is a trust issue with Jim Bod and Michelle. They say it is about the kids but it is about Jim bod and Michelle rules not their own. I wonder why Derrick did not want to assert himself more and Just let Jill way. I also do not understand why Jill had to run 2,000 cross the world to meet derrick when she could have wait until he came home which was not a very long time. I also think that Ben is a nice young man but Jim bod has mistreated him espically when he moved him into a stroage shed and said it was a guest house. So I really do not think it is the kids way. But Jim bods way.
ReplyDeleteHow many of y'all would have given anything to have had a mom and pop that loving and so involved in your life.I bet if u had to choose ones that were protective or ones that were absent it would be the ones who were present, am i right? Theres too too many parents who dont give a hoot.Those two are to be commended.:-) Thats just my opinion, i am a little jealous of those kids ...how lucky they are.:-) All u have to do is watch the show and u will see how much that family loves eachother, theres no denying it.:-)
ReplyDeleteI would have
DeleteI am very surprised they are influencing so much by their parents.It is a bit extreme - I have to say....
ReplyDelete@Anonymous. It is necessarily not about hand holding being a sexual thing. When you are in love and hormones are raging (yes Christians do have hormones), any skin contact can lead to more skin contact. At this point in Jessa and Ben's relationship, however, it was about the COMMITTMENT they made to not hold hands until engaged. They only wanted not to break their committment. Both families knew that they would be engaged the following day. That, I am sure, is why the parents said it is OK to hold hands for the prayer
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I saved ourselves for marriage, it was our choice and yes our engagement lasted 16 months! I can't imagine not hugging my mother, sister. friends. It never entered my mind that that would conjure up the dreaded sexual ideas My parents trusted me completely and I never let them gown. More importantly I never let myself down. By the way I was 22 when I we'd. I truly agree with the above statement that it is Jim Bob and Michelle's issue. Din't just say you trust your children, put it into practice. I love the show even though I din't agree with everything, but that is the natural human condition. Jim Bob ease up on the weddimg night and Michelle ease up
ReplyDeleteIntje baby issue. By the way I one of the dreaded Catholics
At one of our last MOMS meetings the subject was 'living with the loss of a child'. A few parents whom have lost children spoke that day and one mom put it this way, which I thought was sweet......when she is asked how many children she has, she replies " I'm a mom of two, but a parent to one."
ReplyDeleteI think they take things to fare because there's nothing wrong with front hugging and holding hands i think the world should show more of it . And i think its all jimbob and Michelle. Let ur kids grow up and trust them.
ReplyDeleteYou don't get too attached to the wrong person by holding hands and kissing before gettin getting married, even if it's a different person you end up marrying. Is a widow unable to attach to their new spouse cause they had relations in their first marriage? Elizabeth Smart felt she was a piece of chewed gum and ruined. Of course she wasn't ruined. Not in Gods eyes or her husband's. But these girls talk about a boy and a used bike and it's troubling. This makes it hard for those living with these ideas to recover when they are harrassed or abused. No one wants to add to the injury of something like that. The physical expectations are a small part of faith and day to day living. It's all they talk of. Perhaps it is the editing? There is much more to successful parenting than making sure your children didn't voluntarily kiss before the altar.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear Michelle's opinion these days on the changes in her family. The change in clothing, boyfriend living at their home, the boys looking like they are in a rock band on you tube under 'duggar studios' etc...... only because I'm curious. I'd just like to hear her thoughts is all. :-)
ReplyDeletePs I can't view the video incase she did talk about this.
It does not matter what everyone else thinks about frontal hugs, the Duggars made it their little convention to just side hug for their very many not so intimate friendly greetings. A good plan.
ReplyDeleteJim Bob and Michelle must have very guilty consciousness about what they did before marriage that they project on their innocent children. Their kids were raised completely differently, they know the rules they live the rules. They don't need these over the top reminders and admonishing from Jim Bob and Michelle, they didn't need chaperones while on the phone or on Skype, they didn't need chaperones while on a date n a public place around many people, they could have held hands for prayer, they didn't need Jim Bob constant kissing in front of them with teasing about them not being able to do it and constant talk about kissing. Jim Bob and Michelle need to tone it down a bit and realize that the kids have been home schooled and are not Jim Bob.
ReplyDelete