In the following TLC webisode, Jim Bob Duggar shares his heart with viewers. "I myself have really grown to really like and love Derick, but actually giving my little baby daughter away to him...I just can't believe it," says the father of 19.
Leading up to their wedding, Jill and Derick met weekly with Jim Bob and Michelle for marriage counseling. The Duggars recommend the Getting Ready for Marriage workbook by Jerry D. Hardin and Dianne C. Sloan, available on our Duggar Store page.
Leading up to their wedding, Jill and Derick met weekly with Jim Bob and Michelle for marriage counseling. The Duggars recommend the Getting Ready for Marriage workbook by Jerry D. Hardin and Dianne C. Sloan, available on our Duggar Store page.
To each his own, but it certainly is strange to me that somebody would receive marriage counseling from their parents -- especially the intimacy chapter. Too much information.
ReplyDeleteWho better?At least their parents are not perfect strangers and they know that their marriage actually worked, And they feel comfortable with them.
DeleteThe more I watch them, the more I grow to love this family. I mean that. Do you realize how refreshing it is to turn on the telelvision and see something loving and edifying than 99% of the "stuff" that airs? How better would our country be, if people would actually take counseling from the Duggars? Even if they were not Christian, just to learn how to listen and work together in a relationship and give back to the other....instead of "what about me?" There would be such a thing as "family" and there would be relationships and not just having children and throwing them out into the world with no direction....Building relationships, the importance of a good work ethic, developing skills that they can take with them in their lives....We all could take lessons from these folks. Women who are modest....this is something the world lacks, but needs. God bless this family....we need more like you and less like the world....
ReplyDeleteThat has to be one of the singlehandedly best statements i have read in a long time, kudos to you.I wholeheartedly agree 110%
DeleteI agree with you anonymous #2. People really need to start loving each other instead of loving things. A lot of people do not agree with how the Duggar family does thing. But I wish growing up my family would of been more like them. I personally do also wish I would of saved myself for marriage. I think it is a good thing and I also have great respect that people even save their first kiss till their wedding day. I never had that much restraint. I find the Duggar family loving and respectful. I do NOT see them as a so called cult like some have called them. Maybe if more parents were involved in their kids lives the world would be a better place. It is NOT weird or sick to me that Jim and Michelle counsel their kids on any subject. I wish nothing but the best for all the Duggars. To the people who pass such judgement on the Duggars you need to look in the mirror yourselves. No one is without fault. God Bless
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Dear friend! I totally agree with you! That's what we need for our world! God bless you and this family! Greetings from Germany
DeleteI wish my parents had been more like the Duggars. I wish id been counseled and directed about life the way these kids are. I wish someone wouldve tild me how saving youraelf for marriage is best. I sure wouldnt have alot of the problems I have today. I wish id been brought up in church. These kids will be happy successful people. Because of how they are raised. What a wonderful family.
DeleteI hope JimBob has the same success picking out the next husbands for the rest of his girls. He sure knocked it out of the park with Derrick.What a blessing he is for the family, you can tell how much Jill and her siblings really love him, Derrick fit right in from day one, I liked him instantly.:-)
ReplyDeleteDid they do this counseling with Anna and josh? And now with jessa and Ben?
ReplyDeleteIt seems like they did from Josh and Anna's video footage fro the wedding prep and big day!
DeleteIt bothered me a bit when Jim Bob grilled Derrick about paying for a car and getting a loan on a car. Jim bob made it seem like a bad thing to have a car payment. Sometimes there is no way around it and you do what you need to do...maybe a better topic to discuss would be how to keep debt under control so that it can be paid off.
ReplyDeleteThe Duggars do not have debt and certainly do not encourage debt. From personal experience, debt is difficult to get out of, very very costly, and causes money fights in marriages and families. I hope that the Duggars continue to teach their children about no debt. It is solid teaching and wisdom! We'd all do well to emmulate this family. What a fantastic world it would be if everyone heeded their lifestyle as an excellent example of being in the world but not of the world! They prove it is possible to live according to the scriptures! Goddoes not ask us to do what He has not given us the ability to do. Grace and peace.
DeleteWhats going on with pregnancy updates and pictures?
ReplyDeleteOut of respect they should have included Derick's mom as a counselor too.
ReplyDeleteLily and Ellie, i overheard a man and his wife say that they were going to drive 500 miles to sneak into the wedding like they said they did for Jills, i really hope they have security because there are lots of unscrupulous people out there these days, maybe u can give them a heads up.
ReplyDeleteI love this family and think that they generally show great wisdom, but something about her parents giving the marriage counseling struck me as being overly controlling (along with sitting there listening in to Jill's Skype conversations). I have never heard of parents doing the official marriage counseling (usually it's their pastor). Did anyone else think this was a little too much?
ReplyDeleteI find it odd that Jim Bob said that he was "checking Derick out" right until the day of the wedding. Sorry, but isn't it Jill's decision whether or not she chooses to marry Derick, not Dad's.
ReplyDeletecould you please tell me the name of the book Jim bob gave josh on his wedding day?
ReplyDeleteThere's no video showing! I will check out the TLC website!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteI completely agree here, weird coming from your parents/inlaws.
These people are our conscience I think. I feel squeamish and guilty watching them, thinking about how I don't achieve their standards. But I could down a big bowl of ice cream like that too!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I actually went through that book together back when we were engaged and we highly recommend it. However, I think it would have been best for a neutral, third-party person to have done the pre-marital counseling sessions rather than the parents/in-laws. I like the Duggar family, but in my opinion, Jim Bob and Michelle overstepped a boundary here. Giving marital advice and wisdom can be helpful, but I don't think they should have been the ones to conduct the pre-marital counseling.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! It's an awesome idea to have counseling but it should have been with a neutral third party. It wasn't really fair to Jill. For all we know Derrick could have been just telling them what they wanted to here. Things might be different now that they are married. I really like Derrick and I think he is sweet so hopefully that's not the case. I'm just saying it could have happened.
DeleteLily and Ellie,
ReplyDeleteAny updates on Jessa and Ben's wedding party? :)
Jim Bob gave Josie to Derrick?
ReplyDeleteThat's what I was thinking too! Marriage counseling is great, but perhaps a non-biased third party would reveal some more honest answers too.
ReplyDeleteI would like to have heard Jim Bob & Michelle's suggestion's on how to stay out of debt if the engine in your car blew and your savings fund was used to pay necessary medical bills. I think that young people watching this show also need to hear the "how to" stay debt free when a difficult situation like this occurs.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 1: I think I would rather share information with my children, knowing it is the correct information, than trust a stranger with different beliefs to instruct them as so many do these days. However, I would probably have the mother instruct her daughter, and the father, his son. I guess it's just what each is comfortable with. I do not know if it got as intimate as one might surmise.
ReplyDeleteI hope that Jill and Derick receive ongoing counseling and advice from Derick's mother Cathy. She seems like such and amazing woman and has been through so much. She has raised a son that is kind, educated, and hard working. I'm sure she will be a great influence as they build their lives together.
ReplyDeleteOn a topic of a different family, but I'm very anxious to find out when Zack and Whitney Bates have their son! I know they are due in October and I want to see pictures!
ReplyDeleteInspiring!
ReplyDeleteI think the over-arching point the Duggars would want people to "get" is that marriage counseling and addressing these topics head-on prior to marriage (and on a continuing basis) is both wise and beneficial for all couples. Just because the particulars of conversation topics with others aren't included in this one minute snippet doesn't mean they don't take place.
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ReplyDeleteI agree Jim-Bob & Michelle can give good advice from personal experiences, but I don't think they should be counseling their own daughter and future son-in-law, leave that up to the professionals.
I agree it is nice to have your parents share helpful marriage tips with their about-to-be-married children; however, directly asking Derick his financial plans and strategies is none of JimBob and Michelle's busines for two reasons; one it's the business of Derick and his wife Jill and secondly, Derick is a degreed accountant. Not that accountants can't make poor choices; but he his educated in the field on how to manage money and crunch those numbers (I speak as the daughter of an accountant!). I'm sure JimBob can guide Jill and Derick on the ins and outs of successful negotiations and frugal budgeting. Michelle can off tips on food shopping and dressing a large number of people on a shoestring budget. Leave at that JimBob and Michelle; Jill's in good hands. p.s.: I like the idea of Cathy sharing some of her financial guidance as posted above -i.e.: how to take care of a family when sudden illness/death occurs, paying for college and working full time while raising children.
ReplyDeleteI undestand Michelle & Bob can be very caring people.... But this is kind of unconfortable to watch ! Of course counselling is usefull but not by your parents fews before the wedding !!! Plus I feel sometimes people need to make mistake.... Jill & her husband will make some... This is life ! You can't avoid the up & down !
ReplyDeleteIf i was more computer savvy, i would gather up the similuar comments and send them off to TLC in one big e-mail.Maybe someone will, it cant hurt.Maybe just maybe that would help speed things along and produce more quality programming that us fans would prefer.Lets pray that someone will take the time and do it.
ReplyDeleteStaying out of debt is always good but not always possible if you don't have parents able to help you financially. Let's put Derrick and Jill in that scenario. They don't have parents who can give them money to fix the car or lend them a car. That is Derricks only mode of transportation for work. He can ask a fellow worker to give him a ride but what if no one can or is willing? Hitch Hiking? How would they get groceries. Taxi service might prove very costly. In real life, you just might need to go into debt for some things. I hope and am sure that this little clip is not all the advise about going into debt that was given. If you run out of money from your nest egg during necessary medical treatment....Do you cut off the treatment? The advise needed to be more contextual and real life based. I appreciate that the Jim-bob and Michelle are trying as hard as they can to equip this young couple.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with Jim Bob and Michelle giving their daughter counseling on marriage after all they have a wonderful marriage and they just want to pass on what worked for them. They have been happily married for 30 years so they do have experiences and things they have learned to pass on to their children. We don't know but maybe Derick ' s mom may have given her advice too.
ReplyDeleteCounseling is one thing, but doing it in a public place like a coffee shop? That's almost mean. I don't understand how the Duggars can tout the importance of modesty and yet lack such decorum by deciding it's okay to talk about personal matters like finances out in public with others watching. So much for being humble folk.
DeleteYou cannot tell what will happen in the future and what you will do in that situation when it arises. You can only speculate what you'll do and how you'll handle it. When the time comes you pray about it, listen to Gods direction and try to make wise choices. Jim bob irritated me when he was asking Derrick questions about what he would do if this and that came up. You won't know until you go through it!! And not once did I hear JB say anything about giving the situation to God so He can help them through it. Isn't that how they always handled situations in the past that arose? It sure sounds like JB wants Derick and Jill's marriage to be perfect without normal life situations. Let them discover on their own JB!
ReplyDeleteI think it's really smart of them to be going through that book with them. So many couples, don't have a clue on much of what is in the book. Probably, since they're used to homeschooling, it doesn't enter their mind to have someone else do this. I think it's fine. I LOVED watching Derrick, especially regarding the debt part. It makes me like him even more. There was something about the way in which he answered that only adds to my loving the guy as Jill's husband. There's a lot about Derrick, which would cause Jill and him to be an AWESOME couple, and a lot about both individually, I feel, which causes each to love the other. Such a beautiful couple!
ReplyDeleteI have some questions:
ReplyDelete1- why did father and daughter have to go all the way to Nepal, they should have saved all that money so that they could buy NEW furniture for the young couple in their new home? 2-what kind of a job does the oldest son have in Washington? His car lot was supposed to be so wonderful and profitable? It has never come out about that new job?
Watch the show! Josh has a job with the Family Research Council as an executive. It has been on the show and on the internet. Going to Nepal was a very wise decision on Jill's part because it gave her a chance to see if he really did have the same values as she was taught and to meet him personally on his own turf. As for furniture, it was on the show that they always buy used and save the difference and never pay the retail prices! This is S.O.P (standard operating procedure) for the Duggars.
DeleteI totally agree with this comment!
ReplyDeletePeople in these comments see black and white, where are the shades of grey? Together Derick, Jill, Jim Bob, Michelle can open a book and read through and discuss it together, what is that? Some time spent together and a focus on some relevant topics guided by a book. Then Derick and Jill can still go else where if they think that they can benefit from another person, maybe a professional, for some reason (maybe they were conscious of holding back in the discussion, or maybe they want some other input [in many counsellors there is wisdom]). We don't get all the info on them, just what they put in the show. Who knows what they all do.
ReplyDeleteI think it's really good that Jim-Bob and Michelle is investing their wisdom and knowledge about marriage into Dericks and Jills marriage. They have been through alot with 19 kids and are still happily married. I couldn't imagine someone who could do a better job!
ReplyDeleteI love Jills hair in this video. The hairdo looks so simple and beautiful, I tried to do it on myself but it didn't look as good. Guess I have to train more.
ReplyDeleteThey may be referring to emotional intimacy and not physical.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous 12,
Were you able to get the video working?
~Lily and Ellie
My husband and I had pre-marital counseling called "Engagement Encounter" through the Catholic Church. It was a 2 day retreat (ladies and men separate dorms) were we worked on various topics and scenarios and got counseling form other Catholic couples.
ReplyDeleteMy problem with the episode it that some things are private between a husband and wife that should not be shared with your parents. I feel that the Duggars do not want or trust any outside opinions, If I were Derek I would have felt very uncomfortable and judged if I did not answer the Duggar-way.
Jim Bob may not like another man with different ideas and outlooks but that is what happens when your daughter marries.
@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous 19,
Not yet. :) The Duggar are keeping that information under wraps for now. But you can count on two things: The wedding part will be BIG and will include a lot of siblings. :)
~Lily and Ellie
The Duggars did not talk very loud about the finances while in the yogurt shop and there were not many people around them. The comments in answer to the questions asked from the book were ever so brief. Any way it is in the market place, while we are running around with money in our pockets that we have to think on our feet about what to do while there are so many things available to feed our every appetite, that is when we need to have plans and be able to practise self control to stay on track. So it is a good place to mix study with strangers and commerce. The Jill and Derick have to block out everything out and focus on Jim Bob and Michelle and learn from them what is wise and internalize and draw on these values as a response. It looks like a good learning system to me.
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