Livy, one of our readers, shared an interview with us that she did with the four oldest Duggar girls for Crown of Beauty, an online magazine. Here are the highlights (click here to read the full interview):Livy kicked off the interview by asking the sisters to describe one another:
Jill: "I'll start with Jana. Jana is 24,
and she is the oldest of the girls. She's kind of a quiet personality
whenever she's around other people. At home she'll talk more, but
she's kinda more quiet and reserved. And yet she can get a lot
accomplished pretty fast, like she's got that first-born tendency to
be able to organize the troops when she needs to! So that's Jana."
Jana: "Jill. She is our fourth born. She is very fun loving and caring, and wants to disciple young ladies. She's always holding babies, she's a student midwife right now, so she is hopefully going to get her midwifery license within the next year or two. She's the one who helps with a lot of things around the house, she has a number of things that she does. Number one, helping with the music when we go and sing and play at different places for different events. She's the one who helps us get it all together, and makes sure we sound good. Jill is a lot of fun!"
Jinger: "I'll describe Jessa. She is a very organized person, so she keeps our house free from clutter. She is really good at playing guitar. She's done some prison ministry. She and I just got back from prisons in Florida, and so that was really, really exciting, just ministering to the inmates there. So she has a heart for reaching out to younger girls and really just coming alongside them, and ministering to them."
Jessa: "Jinger is a super spunky personality. Very fun-loving, definitely has a true servant's heart. She's always looking for ways to serve others, and is a huge blessing to those around her. We've had the opportunity to serve together in prisons, and even locally in our juvenile detention center. And yeah, she just has a huge heart for others."
Jessa explained the girls' reasons for writing Growing Up Duggar. In addition to answering questions from viewers, they also wanted to show that they are a normal family.
Jessa: "People sometimes look at our family and say, 'Well you just don't have the same challenges and struggles that we do.' Sometimes they think we're perfect or something! But we're not.
So we wanted to let people know... just think of the challenges you have in a family of two or three, then multiply that about ten times over!"
"'We have sibling quarrels and times we don't get along, but what we wanted to do was share some of those stories and share the principles we've found from the Bible, that have helped us work those things out, and keep our family relationships strong."
Livy: "Was writing this book a dream that any of you had as little girls?"
Jessa: “I
don't really ever remember saying, 'Hey, I think we should write a
book someday!' Our parents have written a couple books, and we had
seen that process, so we knew it was a lot of work, and I think we
were all kind of shying away from it. We kept being approached by
friends, and people asking us if we would share our stories and
probably in a book form. So we typed some things up, then thought,
'We really should just do this.' Before we all get married and go on
our way and we're not together anymore."Jill: “Yeah, and having come out of our teen years, we felt like this was a perfect time to be able to encourage other young ladies..."
Jessa: "Just like any other girl, we've all struggled with thinking, 'Oh, I'm not beautiful, I'm not loved....' And it's not a one time fix. It's a daily struggle. And even among us sisters, just comparing ourselves or saying, 'Oh your outfit is way cuter than mine!' Or just these feelings of 'you're ugly,' or whatever it may be, are lies the devil really throws at you, and so we talk about how we've been able to overcome those things in our lives by going to God's Word and what He says about us." We're not a mistake, none of our physical features, none of our design is a mistake."
i just read the open letter to the duggars by the lady who was abused by bill gothard, why are the duggars still supporting him and why will no one post questions about him when asked, kelly bates refused to publish the questions people asked i was wandering how this site felt about it and the poor victims ?
ReplyDeleteI can imagine the Duggars and Bateses respect that God is the judge and not them in respect to Bill Gothard. Both sides need to be honest and come forth. Perhaps those families (and other followers) are silently waiting to hear everyone's sides before making a statement.
ReplyDelete@Anon 1 - Just my two cents worth if it's okay for me, as a fellow fan, to share: ATI/IBLP is way more than just Bill Gothard. Yes, it is indisputably a very grievous thing. However, I think it's clear that the Duggars and Bates are followers of Christ, not followers of Gothard - and Kelly Bates has actually explicitly stated this. If anything, it would seem that they are threading the situation carefully, and wisely so - considering the sensitivity of the issue. Seeing as the Duggars and Bates are godly families, I am very positive that they have all been and are praying for Gothard as well as those who have been allegedly abused. At the end of it all, Christ is the Redeemer, and the only one who can truly reconcile, heal and restore.
ReplyDeleteThis is not the first time Gothard has come under scrutiny. It goes back to the 1970's when he was running some operation in Texas.I believe he was running some type of group home. And it got closed down for some misdeeds.
DeleteRe anonymous 1, what does your point here have to do with the posted blog about the girls interview ? I think my question to you illustrates quite well why we do not hear much from the families that used the programs under question.
ReplyDeleteIt is quite obvious to most viewers that this family followed him from their very beginning. JB stated that they follow no man, only Jesus. I beg to differ. Every "list of qualities, how to please a husband/wife, what they wear, homeschooling their kids,", all are from this man's camp. The literature they passed out is all from ATI, etc. JB has been photographed with Mr. Gothard himself. The bible does not contain the Duggar courting rules, and most of how they profess to live. I haven't found "blanket training" in the bible yet. Maybe I'm reading the wrong one..They really need to 'fess up and put it all out there. They have been and are brainwashed by this man and his interpretations of living. It is so utterly obvious. TLC and the Duggars need to put it out there. It's what we already have concluded a long time ago about them anyway. Thank you
ReplyDeletewhy is it so important to you that they do... does it matter? also the Bible gives an outline and we are to follow that... blanket training may not be in the Bible but does everything they do?? it works, and ultimately it's teaches obedience and patients which IS in the Bible... you take the Bibles principles and applying it to your life. Not everyone's life is the same so everyone who applies it may apply it differently the point is actually following it.
DeleteUh, I live the way the duggars do for the most part, and I've never even heard of that man or whatever he started until reading stuff online recently. People that follow Christ do not all have the same personal convictions. Also, look into history. Believe it or not a lot of their standards were the norm, even 60 years ago. Women wore skirts to the knee, parents were involved in and cared about who their children married, and most people waited until marriage for sex.
DeleteThe children should be honored for their successes (and unconditionally children need to be honored also, according to Christian love). It is wonderful to see everyone all so enthusiastic and happy. The focus these wonderful parents have is on their children/family. I trust the parents to not take the wind out of their children's sails. Why should there be condemnation for the whole institutions where the children made achievements? There is a process by which only charged individuals will face consequences.
ReplyDeleteYou can't condem a who group of people for one crime.I'm sure they are horrified that someone they respect has done this terrible deed.Maybe they are in shock, denial or just waiting for all the facts to be absolute with the law.Just imagine if someone you believed in and followed did something horrible,how would you react,espically if you are in the public eye.We still don't know exactly how much of his doctrine they followed.Its hard to find someone that you agree with 100% most people pick and choose parts to follow just like the bible.All people do that.I'm sure they were mortified and still are, so why do they have to apease anyone with a statement, when we don't know every single aspect of their private lives or thoughts,as well it should be.Remember,don't put the blame on the families for something they had no control of . We will all pray for anyone who has been affected by all this mess, Duggars included. Godspeed!
ReplyDeleteWell said !
DeleteThe final paragraph in this interview, made by Jessa, really touched me. I like that, it is not a 'one time fix, it is a daily struggle' - that is the truth for everything else in life, laundry, meals, dishes, exercises, and so on so it is likely to truth in keeping our thought life cleaned up and healthy too.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all we are not "followers" of Bill Gothard. We are followers of Jesus Christ! Most (like me) don't just go by who is teaching we always take it back to the word and check. You can't only listen to one person you have to search for yourself and make sure that is how the Lord is choosing to teach you. Most people that are involved with IBLP are just praying for the truth to come out even if it is bad. Even the board of the ministry are praying and waiting. Just because this is happening does not make the ministry a cult or bad. It does not make the teachings any less important. It's not about Bill Gothard it is about growing in your relationship with Christ. Just because the Lord has convicted us differently does not make us in a cult or stupid! For me personally they Lord brought me to this ministry and it has been a blessing! I would listen to so many different teachings on a subject I needed help understanding and they would not make sense and I would not feel the same way about it. The Lord has used IBLP to teach me and to give me the support of like-minded people other than my family!
ReplyDeleteI always check what I read whether it is an elder telling me or I read it in a book. The Lord uses different ministries to teach and help different people. We are all different and just because we are convicted differently does not make us any less of a believer than you or make our convictions wrong. God uses people in so many different ways. But we all have the same goal in life, to live the way the Lord has shown us, to make disciples, and to glorify him in everything we do.
We are not blind "followers" of Mr. G we are NOT HIS FOLLOWERS! We are followers of Christ! That's it! There will always be people who only listen to what one person says and won’t even check it. But, please don’t put everyone in the category and remember that there are people like that will only listen to what IHOP teaches or other ministries. It is not a problem that only IBLP has. And no ministry is superior to the other. Our ultimate teacher is the Lord and whatever way HE chooses to teach us whether HE uses family, pastors, friends or just shows us Himself and whatever ministry HE uses, we still are to bring it back to HIM and to HIS word!
The board of IBLP is taking this situation very seriously! This not only impacted the people who work for the ministry but also the people that are encouraged and strengthened through it. Respect that the Duggar and Bates families are most likely upset along with shocked. If you really watch and pay attention to the show and their families you notice they do not only read the viewpoints from Bill Gothard and other IBLP books. They always go back to the word and read books and listen to teachings that are not associated with IBLP just conservative. Please keep in mind that just because people are not ready to talk about it does not mean they approve or are ok with the situation. Everyone is seeking the Lord.
Blessings and prayer for the truth!
i cannot see these girls as being normal. why no girl who is in their 20 does not hold a job or go to school. why do they refuse to answer any questions on this subject. what kind of jobs do they hold. jana and jill say they are midwives in training do they get paid for that job? do they get paid for doing the show?
ReplyDeleteUm ... writing a book is a job, being on a reality show is a job. No idea why you dont realize they work ? LoL
DeleteI think Anonymous 2 is right about the reasons they are holding off on answering these questions. But I also think that they are processing their own hurts.This is a man that they must have obviously respected and admired. The accusations and the decision to remove him from leadership must be difficult to deal with. Gill Bates must have had some say since he is on the the board of IBLP. The Bates also have a lot going on in their lives right now and most likely updating the blog is not one of Kellys main priorities at this time.
ReplyDeleteI also think that all believers and faith organizations can learn from what has happened to Mr. Gothard. The main lesson we can learn is to never place a man on a pedestal. We must remember that no man or woman is perfect and there is a high possibility of being disappointed by the actions of another human being.
We must also take the position of the Bereans prior to following the instructions of any person in leadership or any individual really.
Acts 17:11
11 Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.
The Berens even question Paul, one of the main writers of the New Testament. Why do we not study the scripture to see if a person in leadership is actually instructing us in a Godly manner.
Another issue I have with churches and religious organizations is the fact that some follow the leaders blindly without questioning their actions. There have been many cases where those in leadership have turned a blind eye to the faults of their pastor and have allowed him to continue in ministry. And in most cases these are not small character issues, but behaviors that are ultimately harmful to the entire congregation. There are certain behaviors that must result in a man being taken out of leadership instead of allowing him to continue in his position to destroy more lives. In most cases the downfall is due to sexual misconduct. When this behavior is left unchecked it destroys lives, churches and ultimately a persons faith. These behaviors are predatory and are not the actions of a person who should be in the position of leadership. When issues such as these come to light they only cause people to become more skeptical of Religion or Christianity.
If someone had taken the first accusations against Mr. Gothard seriously and placed safeguards in place to prevent him from being alone with a young woman the situation would never have come to such a horrible state . Certain standards must be upheld by those in the position or authority. There are some preachers who do not even allow themselves to be in a car alone with a woman who is not their wife in order to prevent such accusations.Why did IBLP not take such actions after they were made aware of the accusations.
Please also take this viewpoint when considering the lives of the Bates and Duggars. It seems that some have placed them in a position where they are idolized because of what they have accomplished with their children. The lives they have created for them is one is not for everyone. Please follow the Lord and Not People.
Even with these comments I do love the Duggars and the Bates, but i do not have blinders on. i only for only for the good for these families.
The Duggars are happy and I'm happy, and I wish you were all happy, let us humans just get along and love and support one another without ridicule and be pleasent.Being nice is soooo euphoric, being awful hardens ones soul, and it feels rotten.Peace be with you all.Godspeed! Sincerely, Nat from Nebr. ;-)
ReplyDeleteWhile I want to be sensitive to those questioning the Bill Gothard situation (and I don't profess to know all, or even most, of it) I just want to give another perspective. I had the chance to go to a Basic Youth Conflicts Seminar in the '70s, and for some reason, which I cannot remember now, didn't go. I would now have given just about anything if I could have gone and learned some of these principles before setting out in life. I feel I would not have gone through some of the heartaches that I have experienced, had I had the chance to hear and implement some of these strategies. While there are some who, for whatever reasons, might have been hurt by Mr. Gothard's teachings (or from the actions of some in his organization) perhaps we need to ask whether more good or bad has come from them, and I think we will find, all things considered, there has been much more good than bad.
ReplyDeletePlease remember (regarding Gothard) that just because someone has been accused doesn't mean that they are guilty. I'm not saying he's innocent. I don't know the facts. But Proverbs 18:17 teaches why we should not make judgments or statements rashly. "The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him." It's seems wise that they're not commenting at this time.
ReplyDelete@Anon 4 - Yes, there is a real danger for any family who chooses to adopt the principles and parenting guidance given by IBLP to fall into a serious form of legalism which essentially leads one to be a Gothard-follower as opposed to a Christ-follower. This occurs when the Gospel (the very message of Christianity) is not the central focus, but replaced with "good Christian things which good Christian families do", like what you've described.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it is evident that the Duggars (and Bates) stress the Gospel/obeying Christ and Christ alone (E.G. their family value of first loving God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength; the 'JOY' principle - Jesus first, others second, yourself last; the emphasis on having a personal relationship with Christ seen in 'Growing Up Duggar'). It is also clear that Jim Bob and Michelle, as Christians, constantly seek God in just about everything they do, and are guided by His Spirit as they yield to him. But yes, you won't find that to be the case if it's all about rule/Gothard-following.
Further, what you've described are - and should solely be - matters of Christian liberty (Romans 14), whereby genuine born-again Christians are free to choose how they wish live certain lifestyles, which they'd naturally be doing within the parameters of faith with a heart desiring to glorify God at the foremost. It appears that the Duggars have found the teachings of IBLP to be the most God-honouring and that which works best for their family. If you notice, they do not impose these things onto others - or else their very own cousin Amy would have no part with them whatsoever. On the contrary, they embrace her as family. Cindy, Michelle's best friend, does not follow the same way of dressing as the Duggars, and yet she is her best friend.
In any case, I'd argue that the courting rules are in no way exclusive or patented by the Duggars, and that the courting style we see does offer a God-honouring path to seeking a husband/wife, as it upholds integrity and purity. Also, the limits of physical intimacy are always set by the couples themselves. Personally, I find courting to be very biblical, and it is made clear if one seeks to sincerely study Scripture about dating/relationships. This does NOT mean everyone who is a genuine Christian must follow the courting style of dating (or wear modest clothing, or homeschool, etc etc) lest their salvation is forfeited (impossible if you are genuinely born again).
The point is that the main focus for anyone adopting those principles must be centered on the Gospel alone. Any straying away from that - such as making homeschooling, courting, blanket training, or IBLP rules the central focus instead - is indeed mere legalism which can lead to serious problems. In fact, the Bible itself warns against that - and with very strong language, too. But if you ask me, just by observing the fruits of the Duggar family (and I don't mean the number of kids lol), it is clear that they are primarily a Gospel-centered family seeking to honour and glorify God in all that they do.
From what I have observed from their television shows and their books, the Duggars are followers of Christ first and foremost. Christians put their faith in the arm of the lord not the arm of man. God is infallible, humans not so much. As for the girls, it never fails to amaze me that some people seem to be observing them through a magnifying glass. These young ladies are growing up beautifully. They are making choices that are right for them and why shouldn't they? If every last one of these girls were to become a wife and a mother and never hold a job outside of the home, I say great! If some or all of them pursue careers, that's fine too. Ultimately, it's up to them, their lives, their choices, not mine, why criticize these godly, delightful young women? I find them completely refreshing. Reading some of the comments on this blog I can't help but get the impression that some people would only feel satisfied if the girls behaved like most girls on television. But if I had a daughter I would desire a virtuous life for her not a "normal' life.
ReplyDeleteDerick dimples, so cute, what a sweet pairing.So happy for them.;-)
ReplyDeleteDidn't Jessa claim to want to be a hairdresser in an earlier interview a while back? Why didn't she ever go to cosmetology or beauty school for that ambition? What does she do other than pack for the family? None of the Duggar girls have actually ventured OUT in real training for any ambition they said they had; except for Jill if you want to stretch it, she should become a labor and delivery RN to reach her ambitions, but I don't think her parents would allow her to study nursing as she would have to take anatomy, (male's included) to be a real nurse. They won't allow that. Doesn't anyone see something seriously wrong with this line of thinking? thank you
ReplyDelete@AnonymousWhat successes have these children achieved?
ReplyDelete"Normal" is not the correct term;" main-stream" is a better term when comparing the Duggar children to others.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteDefine success.
I think the issue is everything is part time? It is great for the kids under 16 to get to travel for field trips, rallies, music performances while doing home schooling. The 4 oldest girls have done some nice things, like 2 week mission trips to central America, or a week of Prison ministry with Anna's dad, but it seems hard with all the political involvement especially since Josh got his job for them to take on anything full time, like school or a job. It is pretty hard to tell your employer I need 1 week off for filming, 1 week off for a rally, it doesn't work in the real world. I think once the daughters or sons are over 18, the Duggars should reconsider how much they are involved with the show or travel. It is one thing if it is a dream trip oversees, but 6 trips to see Josh in DC isn't necessary if one or more of the daughters/sons wants to persue education or a job that requires her/him to stay in Arkansas.
ReplyDeleteAnon 11, I think you raised some really valid points. The situation surrounding Gothard certainly and most starkly signifies - as you said - the fallibility of man and the utter instability in following one as opposed to solely relying on God alone. I concur that discernment is a very crucial thing - even in regards to church/organisation leaders, which warrants a close and constant Berean-style examination of Scripture as well as serious prayer. However, I think we can also trust God to be mighty and powerful enough to set the Duggars and Bates back on track if indeed they go off-course, and even discipline or chastise, as God is faithful to His children and His own word (Hebrews 12).
ReplyDeleteThe idea by anon 20 that Jessa get into cosmetics is smart and Jessa could pursue it if it interests her. That is a way some industrious women I know have made lots of money right at home by setting up in house salons. That way there might be an additional income in their future. Maybe when Ben is at school Jessa could be in training too.
ReplyDelete@AnonymousWell, because although they claim to "not be perfect," we never see any hint of conflict on this show for whatever reason. I think they absolutely do want to be perceived as perfect, because then viewers could say that their "Godly adherence" isn't working for them. It's sad and unfortunate. This lifestyle has many terrible consequences for many young women (and perhaps some men.) Let's hope the authors of the respective blogs that do not address these important issues wise up and do so. After all, isn't that what Jesus would do?
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